I wanted to put it as men rant, just deleted those three letters so that people don't think I am a man hater or a feminist and honestly speaking I am NOT! I rather love being in the company of men, for I always felt they are easy going on life, than women who bitch and bite each other about everything..coming to the topic..I seriously wondered today, why men are men..I remembered what my brother told me -we are practical and we only think problems and solutions, we don't really look at emotional side of decision making. I have seen that in lot many men, and it does hurt me at times, but then what do I do, sit quiet and let them think and form perceptions about my state of mind or express how I feel about what they feel about me...Darn! There is no end to thinking..and for the first time, my usual casual remarks were taken seriously by someone..and it pains to see that..I mean dude, that is how I am with anyone I talk..Saying get lost does not mean =please get lost. It is my state of mind. For once, why can't people take things in a not so literal sense than jumping to conclusions, thinking and acting emotionally. Drat! I am mentally tired and sick of explaining that I joke!! And this is how I joke, its nothing to do with fooling with someone's emotions or giving someone sleepless nights and sitting and apologising the entire day...I need a life..I have my mood swings..I am a woman, I am a Gemini, and I am a writer! So, I can be double, triple, emotional and have greater mood swing than a normal person..But yeah that's me!! What do I do if someone feels that my turmoiled state of mind affects him or her? Move away, try and explain or do what! I don't understand. A time when I feel it is time to move on and speak to my women friends who undergo the same thing and share their lives with me..similar rants or different, but its unburdening of the self..It helps me calm down, get a grip and move on..
Sometimes I go to an extent of thinking- until you are married, people have a problem you are single, when married, deal with a husband, and then a kid and then the in laws..so end to individualism and your private space? Why? I mean why? Why can't people just stop admonishing me for not what I am..and stop being judgemental about every word I utter..Dammit it hurts!
I was telling my mom..why get married, oh no! It is a pain, rather go and seek some solitude, lead a minimalist life, meditate in the hills, do good to others, globetrot, and die writing a book. Why make life so complicated!!
Pri, if you are listening, thanks for hearing me out babe! Love you!