There were many times when I have helped unknown people. They just happen to bump into me somewhere and then I realise at some point they take my help and then they take it all and just forget it..It was not once, but a few episodes which has strained me emotionally. I think if at all I should help anyone in my life..but yes I also think, if it is in my capacity to help someone, why not?
And these cases of people trampling over..i cannot stop being good to someone else..because a few people I met were bad! But it does hurt at some point..when people take advantage of you, bad mouth about your friends..and you..yeah in this world, you pay a price for being 'good'. You do pay a price for being honest, open, vivacious, independent..there are many jealous faces which turn up to you, smiling..and then the grapevine begins..backbiting..
People should look back into a dictionary to find the real meaning of 'trust', 'friendship', loyalty, being grateful, help..and all the nice things in life..and also read about ego, jealousy and all the adjectives that make the life look so pale and sick!! The things that are 'not' absolutely needed to live this one beautiful live we have. I am very happy with the success of other people, a little more if my existence in their life and world has added to that...I learned values and culture from my lovely grandparents who always emphasised on sharing of resources and reaching out to help others..feeding hungry souls..But I feel sad, when people look at you as a resource to gain help and demean the value of friendship..
These experiences (I term them bad) has taught me not to trust people easily..yeah I learned it the hard way..people are always jealous of free spirited souls..when they get all the attention and love..and feel wanted..and people who have this feeling..its best I let go of them and move on in life..This too shall pass :)
And for all the lovely souls in my life..who have stuck to me, knowing the real me, and have unshattered faith and love...I love everyone of you..Afterall, in this one life we have, why fight, breed jealousy, arrogance, ego, and talk bad things (Swami Vivekananda has said this). Life is beautiful and I want to make it even better with a few friends..:)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The journey through the heritage train
There were many times I planned to take the toy train from Mettupalayam to Ooty, but it always was a jinxed one. Last Dussehra, when my cousins and uncles were here, we went to the station to check for tickets and there were no tickets available. Sigh, it never works I thought. It was almost more than a decade since I visited Ooty. I last went with my father to Ooty and Coonoor. It was amazing how dad used to travel, and how he used to make us travel, completely unplanned. The days when we used to stay in Sulur, near Coimbatore, father used to come home from work and say, come get ready soon, we shall go to Ooty, and we would be off. I also love traveling this way. It soon fell into a pattern.
A few months later, when I reached Coimbatore station after a trip to Bangalore, I was so tempted to check for tickets in the toy train. I went to the counter and the lady said, sorry due to landslides, the train is not operational. I was forlorn again! When will it start working, I asked out of intense curiosity? Do not know, she said. Call and check.
I left home, only thinking when I would be able to make this trip..A few months later, I called the railway people to check if the trains were working. I finally heard something positive. I headed straight to the station to pick up the tickets. Finally, I had the ticket in my hand. Yaay, I would be going. I rejoiced looking at the piece of paper in my hand. Took it safely and headed back home like I got something priceless.
A couple of weeks later, I headed to Trivandrum for a break and meet a writer friend there. It so happened that I had to extend my trip there for a day-one there were more meetings coming up and two it was the day of football world cup finals. How could I miss that? Just then, I thought this ticket to Ooty will be torn into pieces. Big sigh!
I did not go. But again, when I tried, there were landslides. I could never make the trip.
Finally on Friday, after a crazily quiet week, this soul started becoming restless to go to the mountains. With a great weather as a companion, I woke up early, and rushed to the new bus stand. Found there were two buses, one going to Ooty and the other to Kotagiri. I hopped on to the Ooty bus. Suddenly, I felt, I should be taking the Kotagiri bus, because I had heard so much about the place, but could never go. Also, this was another entrance to Ooty and supposed to be really beautiful. I got into that bus. An uncle sitting next to me started a conversation. I spoke a few words and then looked out of the window. The day looked so beautiful with the clouds dark and grey..
The journey was definitely a beautiful one. I saw so many spiders, birds and colorful butterflies, and suddenly the air turned cold. I realised I was a fool not to have a sweater with me. I reached Kotagiri by 10 and straight headed to have the local Niligiri Chai. It was perfect for the weather. I looked around and fell into a state of trance. The clouds touched the earth covering up the mountains, lush green after rains. I spoke to a few local people at the tea shop. I wanted to see Kodanad View Point, but since it was very cloudy, the locals said it would be waste of time to go there. I walked a bit further on the long roads, took a deep breath and absorbed the nature.
I asked people if there was a bus to Ooty. They said there were plenty of buses. So, I took a long walk and reached the bus stop and hopped into a bus. I was filled with serenity and my mind was all in a state of emotions..bonding with the ever eternal nature. The path from Kotagiri to Ooty (about 24 kms) is one of the most beautiful mountain paths I witnessed. It seemed like a different world. Though among crowd, I was walking alone, in my own maze of thoughts. I reached Ooty and it started drizzling. Yeah, I did not carry an umbrella and I was already feeling cold. I wanted to go to Ramakrishna Mission and took an auto. Went there to the main shrine and found it to be shut. I saw one monk crossing by. He saw me and opened the shrine for me. I felt so touched. This was the first time I experienced when a temple door was opened just for me. Maybe I was really destined to be there that moment. I prayed amidst the beautiful calm sanctum tucked away in a corner..surrounded by mountains. The monk gave me some fruits to eat. I was actually hungry. I shared it with the auto uncle and then asked him where I can go next. The botanical garden and rose garden didn't fancy me!
I was thinking if I should try the toy train ticket. The auto guy took me to the railway station and he was super confident I will get the ticket. I went to the station and I was told I will get the tickets by 1.30. I went back and had lunch with the auto uncle..Paid him some money and came back to the station. I waited..was I dreaming. Just then I saw this tall woman next to me. Hello, I said and that was it. Her name was Petra and she had come from Holland to see India. I told her about my jinxed trip. Soon, when my turn came to pick the tickets, she saidd...yaay..this is the moment..its happening and you believe it!! I said yeah thanks and smiled.
The journey in the train was an unforgettable experience. The chai and masala vada made it even better. The path is scenic, traversing through dark tunnels and caves, hills, waterfall and what not. It felt like a dream. I suddenly closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I was still wandering amidst the scenic mountains, watching the sun go hazy in the clouds..It was THE moment of truth. I finally made the trip!!
A few months later, when I reached Coimbatore station after a trip to Bangalore, I was so tempted to check for tickets in the toy train. I went to the counter and the lady said, sorry due to landslides, the train is not operational. I was forlorn again! When will it start working, I asked out of intense curiosity? Do not know, she said. Call and check.
I left home, only thinking when I would be able to make this trip..A few months later, I called the railway people to check if the trains were working. I finally heard something positive. I headed straight to the station to pick up the tickets. Finally, I had the ticket in my hand. Yaay, I would be going. I rejoiced looking at the piece of paper in my hand. Took it safely and headed back home like I got something priceless.
A couple of weeks later, I headed to Trivandrum for a break and meet a writer friend there. It so happened that I had to extend my trip there for a day-one there were more meetings coming up and two it was the day of football world cup finals. How could I miss that? Just then, I thought this ticket to Ooty will be torn into pieces. Big sigh!
I did not go. But again, when I tried, there were landslides. I could never make the trip.
Finally on Friday, after a crazily quiet week, this soul started becoming restless to go to the mountains. With a great weather as a companion, I woke up early, and rushed to the new bus stand. Found there were two buses, one going to Ooty and the other to Kotagiri. I hopped on to the Ooty bus. Suddenly, I felt, I should be taking the Kotagiri bus, because I had heard so much about the place, but could never go. Also, this was another entrance to Ooty and supposed to be really beautiful. I got into that bus. An uncle sitting next to me started a conversation. I spoke a few words and then looked out of the window. The day looked so beautiful with the clouds dark and grey..
The journey was definitely a beautiful one. I saw so many spiders, birds and colorful butterflies, and suddenly the air turned cold. I realised I was a fool not to have a sweater with me. I reached Kotagiri by 10 and straight headed to have the local Niligiri Chai. It was perfect for the weather. I looked around and fell into a state of trance. The clouds touched the earth covering up the mountains, lush green after rains. I spoke to a few local people at the tea shop. I wanted to see Kodanad View Point, but since it was very cloudy, the locals said it would be waste of time to go there. I walked a bit further on the long roads, took a deep breath and absorbed the nature.
I asked people if there was a bus to Ooty. They said there were plenty of buses. So, I took a long walk and reached the bus stop and hopped into a bus. I was filled with serenity and my mind was all in a state of emotions..bonding with the ever eternal nature. The path from Kotagiri to Ooty (about 24 kms) is one of the most beautiful mountain paths I witnessed. It seemed like a different world. Though among crowd, I was walking alone, in my own maze of thoughts. I reached Ooty and it started drizzling. Yeah, I did not carry an umbrella and I was already feeling cold. I wanted to go to Ramakrishna Mission and took an auto. Went there to the main shrine and found it to be shut. I saw one monk crossing by. He saw me and opened the shrine for me. I felt so touched. This was the first time I experienced when a temple door was opened just for me. Maybe I was really destined to be there that moment. I prayed amidst the beautiful calm sanctum tucked away in a corner..surrounded by mountains. The monk gave me some fruits to eat. I was actually hungry. I shared it with the auto uncle and then asked him where I can go next. The botanical garden and rose garden didn't fancy me!
I was thinking if I should try the toy train ticket. The auto guy took me to the railway station and he was super confident I will get the ticket. I went to the station and I was told I will get the tickets by 1.30. I went back and had lunch with the auto uncle..Paid him some money and came back to the station. I waited..was I dreaming. Just then I saw this tall woman next to me. Hello, I said and that was it. Her name was Petra and she had come from Holland to see India. I told her about my jinxed trip. Soon, when my turn came to pick the tickets, she saidd...yaay..this is the moment..its happening and you believe it!! I said yeah thanks and smiled.
The journey in the train was an unforgettable experience. The chai and masala vada made it even better. The path is scenic, traversing through dark tunnels and caves, hills, waterfall and what not. It felt like a dream. I suddenly closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes, I was still wandering amidst the scenic mountains, watching the sun go hazy in the clouds..It was THE moment of truth. I finally made the trip!!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Fear
Fear is unknown. Fear is pain. Fear blocks the mind, makes your vision murky, leading you into a dark tunnel, not letting you see the light, even when it is there. What is in fear? Fear about the future is one thing we humans constantly fret about. Where is future? Can you see it? I can only see the moment, only now. Our fears are our state of mind. Some great people even talk about fearing as a sin. Is that true? Yes. When the heart is mighty, to break away the shackles of all the unknown fear that mounts the heart, life gives way. It throws light. Fear of exams, fear of relationships, fear of the future, fear of health and just keep counting, the phobias will add up, in every little thing that you do. Is it worth it? Definitely not. When the mind is trying to get into a fear mode, let me push it to a dark corner, like it never existed in my life..let me drown it, trample it, kill it, throw it away into some far off galaxy of this universe. Fear should fear coming back to me.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Walking in the Eastern Ghats
I have been to Western ghats an umpteen number of times, and felt enchanted, hearing the bamboo trees rustling in the wind. This time I went to Eastern ghats where my friend is working to retrieve a critically endangered bird, Jerdons Courser, endemic to 40 sq km area in Sri Lanka Malleshwar Wildlife Sanctuary.
I stayed at the forest field station at Badvel, 60kms from Kadapa. It was a long and tiring journey for me in the bus for 14 hours. As I reached Kadapa, we straight headed for a meeting with the District Forest Officer. I was dead tired, but was all set to meet the officer and talk. He spoke about various initiatives he took to help local people gain from forest resources. We shared a lot of ideas on how we can work out a sustainable living for local people. My mind was rolling with ideas.
By the time we got out of the DFO’s office, it was almost 7 pm. We went to have sugar cane juice and head to Badvel. The junior researcher Sumant who was working with my friend Rahul got talking to me about film making. I want to be a film maker, he said. As we crossed the forest path in the dark night, Raheem (he drove the Armada and was also a snake and bird expert), suddenly put the brakes..Snake...he said and we jumped out of the jeep and saw a small cat snake going into a bush..it was shiny black with stripes..a baby cat snake..I was thrilled.it was too fast for me..could not take a picture!!
Went to have a quick dinner at a hotel, went to the forest field station and crashed..I woke up late the next day. Aslam (the cook, cleaner and bird catcher) made coffee and breakfast. I watched out and saw an old man sleeping on a cot..sleeping peacefully under a tree. Kids were playing with marbles, it was a different environment. We thought we would go to the forest to set camera traps. Me, along with S went to the forest, but came back as the path was bad due to rains..we spent some time sitting outside the house..tomorrow, we have to set the camera traps, said S.
The bird is highly elusive, declared extinct, many years back. Later, some researchers from Cambridge university found that these birds still existed, but in very few numbers. It was then, the local government decided to step in to retrieve the bird. Later, the Royal Society of Protection of Birds (RSPB), UK, partnered with Bombay Natural History society (BNHS) to work on this project. Rahul was made the head of this project. It was prestigious but extremely difficult. RSPB gave camera traps to be set on field, to capture images of the nocturnal bird.
http://www.birdlife.org/news/news/2009/09/jerdons_courser.html
Here is more, if you want to know what has been happening.
The next day after lunch, S and me headed to the sanctuary and the entire journey was amazing. We walked into the forest, making sure every camera was set in a proper way. This took us like five hours. I did not see many birds because it was a cloudy day. I managed to see a few common birds. I just sat on the mud in the forest, listening to various birds. It was blissful. I forgot the world. It was almost 7 when we go back to the field station. Had dinner, chatted up, watched some tv and crashed. Soon, Sunday came. It was time to go vegetable shopping. We went to the local market and thought we could make some pasta, for a change. Saw a woman selling small chicks coloured in yellow, orange and pink in a basket. Three rupees each, she said. I quickly pulled out my camera. Was painful to see them like this! After lunch, me and S went to the forest again. The weather was a little humid, but there was breeze. It was not hot. This time, saw a dove nest and a small egg inside it. This forest is unlike the western ghats. It was a scrub jungle. I don’t know how many thorns pierced my skin as I waded through the forest. The place was full of thorns. We had a great five hours in the jungle.
We came back home and I made pasta for dinner. Thankfully, turned out to be very good! I was in the kitchen teaching Aslam how to make pasta. He said he will make it one day for these guys. I was listening to Aslam’s tale in Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary as the pasta was getting ready. A great dinner, and a long conversation with R which lasted till morning. On where we want to travel, what we want to do..it is kind of nice when people can relate to you in so many ways. The next day morning, we had planned for a trek to Brahmagiri and then head to the unexplored forest. It was rather a cloudy morning when we started. On the way, we saw so many birds- a cormorant perched on a tree, many coots in water bodies, ducks. We stopped at a place..where there was a beautiful lake..and mountains.. I stood there watching the lake.
After a few minutes, we went our way further. I suddenly saw some weaver bird nests. Rahul, isn’t that weaver bird nest, I asked. Oh yes, Raheem, stop, he said. We walked towards the nest and saw the beautiful male bird hanging on the nest and flying to and forth, sometimes perched on brown maize grass. The bird was very attractive. It was a baya weaver. We spent almost half an hour near the nest..it was very tough to capture them on camera, but we tried.
As we went our way further, Raheem stopped. Snake, he pointed out at a small snake on the ground. It was a dead snake. Looks like someone has killed it, Rahul said. We put a small agarbatti next to it and walked. We then went to a temple..Raheem said they serve food free of cost. We did not carry anything and we were hungry. We went to the temple, thankfully people were speaking Hindi. I spoke to one sadhu there, who said there was some Reddy baba who meditated here for 12 years. He passed away three years back and this temple was built in his memory. We got one laddoo for ourselves. Temporary relief from hunger! We then headed to the place where lunch was being served. I had never done this before, but there are always firsts in life..We went to get food. The food was extremely hot n spicy. Sumant and me had tears in our eyes as we were eating. Wait Sumant, buttermilk, let us get it. Fortunately they had buttermilk, we finished our lunch, washed our plates. Ufff yaar!! Sumant pulled out a packet of sunfeast biscuit. Give it to me also, I said. Aaj sunfeast ne bacha liya..We walked out of Reddy baba’s place and thought we should walk into the forest. We went ahead..there was a small patch of road leading into a path..we jumped out of the jeep and started walking into forest. We saw a flock of imperial green pigeons on a tree. It was an awesome sight to watch! A bunch of butterflies sat on the ground. We walked close and took some pictures. Let us sit here and watch some birds, Rahul said. We sat in the middle of the forest. It was the most amazing time of my life. I loved every second of it. After spending long time there, we walked again and took another route. We saw a narrow winding road and walked again to another part of the forest.
Though they were a part of eastern ghats, they were not scrub jungle. Verdant green with tall lemon grass, the walk into the forest was a memorable experience. We saw a pile of bones left by a leopard. A small purple butterfly hovered around me, guiding me till we got out of the forest. It was a thrilling moment. The feeling in my heart cannot be expressed in words, definitely not. It is more like experiencing being in the abode of nature, breathing medicinal plants, the aroma that wafts through trees, through the wind...there is only silence.. Like my friend says, I feel safe and secure in forest. I feel the same! I am never scared here. I know nature will protect me. After spending a lot of time in the forest, we came back. It was soon time for me to leave. As I left the mountains, I had tears in my eyes. I had no heart to leave the place. I made a promise to the mountains, to come back and be in their shelter, to feel protected!
Living in a small town, with simple, loving and helping people was a humbling experience. It doesn't take much to be happy, not a lot of money, not great luxuries. The simpler the life is, the better it gets. :)
I stayed at the forest field station at Badvel, 60kms from Kadapa. It was a long and tiring journey for me in the bus for 14 hours. As I reached Kadapa, we straight headed for a meeting with the District Forest Officer. I was dead tired, but was all set to meet the officer and talk. He spoke about various initiatives he took to help local people gain from forest resources. We shared a lot of ideas on how we can work out a sustainable living for local people. My mind was rolling with ideas.
By the time we got out of the DFO’s office, it was almost 7 pm. We went to have sugar cane juice and head to Badvel. The junior researcher Sumant who was working with my friend Rahul got talking to me about film making. I want to be a film maker, he said. As we crossed the forest path in the dark night, Raheem (he drove the Armada and was also a snake and bird expert), suddenly put the brakes..Snake...he said and we jumped out of the jeep and saw a small cat snake going into a bush..it was shiny black with stripes..a baby cat snake..I was thrilled.it was too fast for me..could not take a picture!!
Went to have a quick dinner at a hotel, went to the forest field station and crashed..I woke up late the next day. Aslam (the cook, cleaner and bird catcher) made coffee and breakfast. I watched out and saw an old man sleeping on a cot..sleeping peacefully under a tree. Kids were playing with marbles, it was a different environment. We thought we would go to the forest to set camera traps. Me, along with S went to the forest, but came back as the path was bad due to rains..we spent some time sitting outside the house..tomorrow, we have to set the camera traps, said S.
The bird is highly elusive, declared extinct, many years back. Later, some researchers from Cambridge university found that these birds still existed, but in very few numbers. It was then, the local government decided to step in to retrieve the bird. Later, the Royal Society of Protection of Birds (RSPB), UK, partnered with Bombay Natural History society (BNHS) to work on this project. Rahul was made the head of this project. It was prestigious but extremely difficult. RSPB gave camera traps to be set on field, to capture images of the nocturnal bird.
http://www.birdlife.org/news/news/2009/09/jerdons_courser.html
Here is more, if you want to know what has been happening.
The next day after lunch, S and me headed to the sanctuary and the entire journey was amazing. We walked into the forest, making sure every camera was set in a proper way. This took us like five hours. I did not see many birds because it was a cloudy day. I managed to see a few common birds. I just sat on the mud in the forest, listening to various birds. It was blissful. I forgot the world. It was almost 7 when we go back to the field station. Had dinner, chatted up, watched some tv and crashed. Soon, Sunday came. It was time to go vegetable shopping. We went to the local market and thought we could make some pasta, for a change. Saw a woman selling small chicks coloured in yellow, orange and pink in a basket. Three rupees each, she said. I quickly pulled out my camera. Was painful to see them like this! After lunch, me and S went to the forest again. The weather was a little humid, but there was breeze. It was not hot. This time, saw a dove nest and a small egg inside it. This forest is unlike the western ghats. It was a scrub jungle. I don’t know how many thorns pierced my skin as I waded through the forest. The place was full of thorns. We had a great five hours in the jungle.
We came back home and I made pasta for dinner. Thankfully, turned out to be very good! I was in the kitchen teaching Aslam how to make pasta. He said he will make it one day for these guys. I was listening to Aslam’s tale in Bharatpur Bird Sanctuary as the pasta was getting ready. A great dinner, and a long conversation with R which lasted till morning. On where we want to travel, what we want to do..it is kind of nice when people can relate to you in so many ways. The next day morning, we had planned for a trek to Brahmagiri and then head to the unexplored forest. It was rather a cloudy morning when we started. On the way, we saw so many birds- a cormorant perched on a tree, many coots in water bodies, ducks. We stopped at a place..where there was a beautiful lake..and mountains.. I stood there watching the lake.
After a few minutes, we went our way further. I suddenly saw some weaver bird nests. Rahul, isn’t that weaver bird nest, I asked. Oh yes, Raheem, stop, he said. We walked towards the nest and saw the beautiful male bird hanging on the nest and flying to and forth, sometimes perched on brown maize grass. The bird was very attractive. It was a baya weaver. We spent almost half an hour near the nest..it was very tough to capture them on camera, but we tried.
As we went our way further, Raheem stopped. Snake, he pointed out at a small snake on the ground. It was a dead snake. Looks like someone has killed it, Rahul said. We put a small agarbatti next to it and walked. We then went to a temple..Raheem said they serve food free of cost. We did not carry anything and we were hungry. We went to the temple, thankfully people were speaking Hindi. I spoke to one sadhu there, who said there was some Reddy baba who meditated here for 12 years. He passed away three years back and this temple was built in his memory. We got one laddoo for ourselves. Temporary relief from hunger! We then headed to the place where lunch was being served. I had never done this before, but there are always firsts in life..We went to get food. The food was extremely hot n spicy. Sumant and me had tears in our eyes as we were eating. Wait Sumant, buttermilk, let us get it. Fortunately they had buttermilk, we finished our lunch, washed our plates. Ufff yaar!! Sumant pulled out a packet of sunfeast biscuit. Give it to me also, I said. Aaj sunfeast ne bacha liya..We walked out of Reddy baba’s place and thought we should walk into the forest. We went ahead..there was a small patch of road leading into a path..we jumped out of the jeep and started walking into forest. We saw a flock of imperial green pigeons on a tree. It was an awesome sight to watch! A bunch of butterflies sat on the ground. We walked close and took some pictures. Let us sit here and watch some birds, Rahul said. We sat in the middle of the forest. It was the most amazing time of my life. I loved every second of it. After spending long time there, we walked again and took another route. We saw a narrow winding road and walked again to another part of the forest.
Though they were a part of eastern ghats, they were not scrub jungle. Verdant green with tall lemon grass, the walk into the forest was a memorable experience. We saw a pile of bones left by a leopard. A small purple butterfly hovered around me, guiding me till we got out of the forest. It was a thrilling moment. The feeling in my heart cannot be expressed in words, definitely not. It is more like experiencing being in the abode of nature, breathing medicinal plants, the aroma that wafts through trees, through the wind...there is only silence.. Like my friend says, I feel safe and secure in forest. I feel the same! I am never scared here. I know nature will protect me. After spending a lot of time in the forest, we came back. It was soon time for me to leave. As I left the mountains, I had tears in my eyes. I had no heart to leave the place. I made a promise to the mountains, to come back and be in their shelter, to feel protected!
Living in a small town, with simple, loving and helping people was a humbling experience. It doesn't take much to be happy, not a lot of money, not great luxuries. The simpler the life is, the better it gets. :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
Revisiting Chennai
Day 1: Landed in Chennai amidst rains. As usual, the auto guys fleeced me. When will Chennai ever change with respect to autodrivers charging the right price?
I straight went to the apartment where I lived. This brings in so many memories. I chose to stay with my neighbour aunty who were my second set of parents. Always go there, though the house is small, I feel more at home..Aunty, uncle and their kids are just so amazing.
Anurag Mathur, my dear friend sent me a couple of messages when I was about to leave for Chennai..are you in Chennai or are you going to come here? Anurag, Don’t tell me you are in Chennai.
Ha ha, yes I am. So, Sunday morning breakfast?
Oh yeah done! After a long chat with aunty, I set off to meet AM after a year. The last time I met him was in Bombay. Long time. We met at our usual place, Anokhee. I am going to bore for your two hours Sharada, so much to tell and I do not get an audience like you often.
Go ahead, I said and started listening.
As we spoke, he shot out a few lines of poems..one liners..
Whoa, I said.
Don’t know this happens when I am with some people. Sharada, what are you doing? I know it is because of you I am saying all this.
Yeah, it is the Sharada effect. LOL!
He suggested we should try drinking orange juice with black coffee? What, I shrieked! Yeah, its a great combo, I got to know when I was in Dubai last time.
Ok, lets try, I said. Anyway, people think we are mad, so what’s the big deal..
It turned out to be actually good!!
Spoke about so many things that time flew. The rains were heavy and we walked out..
So, I know you are becoming famous, but when will I say that The Sharada Balasubramanian is my friend?
Very soon, I smiled.
With AM, I can start a conversation I left a year back.
Realised, that is the connect. Told him, how I was away from a lot of people these days.
After a great meeting with him, headed back home to have nice lunch made by aunty. Crashed and then headed off to my loosu friend Shyamala’s house. It was her engagement the next day.
It seemed like I was walking into a total mad house. Some four grandmothers, 10 aunties, uncles, kiddos. I was like..hello?
Said hi to all grandmothers and uncles..and said can I help?
I was already full eating all day... so wanted to skip my dinner. One aunty came and said..you should eat..they did not listen to me..she actually was so sweet, she fed me..no one has ever done it to me..except mom, grandmom and yeah my brother..I had a smile everytime she fed me..i just hugged her and said thanks..almost had emotional tears from my eyes..spoke to grandfather..lady, isn’t being a journalist a risky job? Oh no, it is not. I mean you have to do anti government stories. Yeah, I have done it, its no big deal! I smiled..
Another aunty came and she wanted me to take me to her house. So, not married yet? Oh no. You must, this is the right time.
(Gosh, oh no, here I go) i did not say anything..
We sat to watch Lord of the Rings at night, but with everyone asleep, we switched of the tv and slept for a few hours.
Next day, I was all busy in cajoling my friend..aunties were coming with kilos of jewellery ..decking up S..and she hated gold..like me..somehow said, manage it..on the other hand, her mother was getting angry..finally pacified both and took her.
Met another reporter from PTI there..started talking..so next your number sharada?
Oh no, please, why don’t you get married?
Ok, deal..lets see who gets married first.. I said..
After a hearty chat, came back to mad house becoming more mad..
Me and S’s dad had a very very long chat till 12.30 am. Talking about how rigid our systems are and how times have changed and we are stuck to traditions without even knowing its significance.
Uncle, i have made my mind not to marry an iyer guy. There are very few who can stand up on their own.
Soon, S chipped in. Actually, sharada is right. In fact, my prof at Malayala Manorama told me to marry someone not an iyer..sharp minded women can never find a smart man in iyer clan..i should write a separate post on this. there are only a handful of exceptions.
Finally uncle gave in. You girls read, you are intelligent, I give up. yayyyy..success!!
Uncle, you can look out for a guy for me, but no thanjavur Brahmins and all..they are very conservative and we don’t follow all that...but given a choice, no horoscope nonsense and no iyer...please! i am tired and fed up..Dont worry, he said..
Me and S wanted to have a private conversation, so we shut all doors and started talking in the kitchen..till 2 am..and what do we talk..MEN!! the complicated creatures in the planet. God knows what runs in their mind...
Our talk went on till early morning, I crashed for couple of hours and then went to meet Radhika. S dropped me off on her bike..it was raining and the long drive was awesome..
Rads had just come back from London and she was someone who knew me well...we decided to go for a movie..Went to see Aisha at the new Express Avenue mall..no interesting, good looking men..sigh! Aisha was actually a superb movie..more of the girly sorts..and me being the big fan of Abhay Deol..loved it..and especially the manly role he plays in the movie..Rads, this is the kind of guy I want to marry..so nice na! She just smiled..
We had some yummy food and went home. Between my dear friend Inderjeet called me. I heard you are in Chennai.
Ya, I am.
And you did not call me?
Sorry yaar, was busy.
When are you coming home?
Hmmm..ok, will come tonight?
Ya, i will send you my car..
I could not go for Inder’s wedding in Punjab, and it was long he was inviting me home. So, wanted to meet his wife and son.
Inder had to travel, so he said, you go home and spend time with my wife..sounds cool..
After having a heavy meal at S’s place (it was avani avattam), aunty stuffed food and sweets into my mouth..in the evening, me and Amandeep (inder’s wife) went off to her aunty’s house. realised it was Raksha bandhan...from a south Indian family to a big Punjabi family. There was nothing different..i was fed again..phew! so much love..and one bhaiya came and thrust a 100 rs note in my hand..keep this..I was so humbled..he did not even know me..
Inder’s son, Sahibjeet is adorable, chubby, cute boy. I played with him till late night..Aman loved my company..and she was so happy..said, please spend the day with me.. I had a great time with her and Sahib. She cooked awesome food..and we talked and talked..had a conversation with the high flying Inder on the way to airport..he was going to Bombay. I think he spent half the time in flights..hey sharada, I also want to do something on my own..I am so good with work, and if i put this effort in my own business, I will go places..Said, yes do it..
He actually admired how I did things close to my heart..yaar, need guts to do what you are doing..its ok yaar, just doing what I feel I want to do..but its nice when friends offer their words of support and recognize it..
The next day, I had to meet another friend Srini. He is an actor and I still had not watched his film. Told him I would watch it! Had a cup of coffee with him and came back to meet Rads. She is so much fun to be with..and that was all the time I had. I had to come back home to finish my work. Four days not doing work felt like a big deal!
I could not meet a lot of people I wanted to. Realised many things. There were some people who were friends with me from a very long time...close too..but today, they were no where in my life. And it didn’t matter to me. at the same time, there were people who were just the same with me and I know they have entered my life,..to stay and be there..and some..just faded..and sometimes I feel...how much time I wasted on all wrong people in my life..doing things..but experience..has taught me many things..
Feel happy, with some love..long lasting love...
I straight went to the apartment where I lived. This brings in so many memories. I chose to stay with my neighbour aunty who were my second set of parents. Always go there, though the house is small, I feel more at home..Aunty, uncle and their kids are just so amazing.
Anurag Mathur, my dear friend sent me a couple of messages when I was about to leave for Chennai..are you in Chennai or are you going to come here? Anurag, Don’t tell me you are in Chennai.
Ha ha, yes I am. So, Sunday morning breakfast?
Oh yeah done! After a long chat with aunty, I set off to meet AM after a year. The last time I met him was in Bombay. Long time. We met at our usual place, Anokhee. I am going to bore for your two hours Sharada, so much to tell and I do not get an audience like you often.
Go ahead, I said and started listening.
As we spoke, he shot out a few lines of poems..one liners..
Whoa, I said.
Don’t know this happens when I am with some people. Sharada, what are you doing? I know it is because of you I am saying all this.
Yeah, it is the Sharada effect. LOL!
He suggested we should try drinking orange juice with black coffee? What, I shrieked! Yeah, its a great combo, I got to know when I was in Dubai last time.
Ok, lets try, I said. Anyway, people think we are mad, so what’s the big deal..
It turned out to be actually good!!
Spoke about so many things that time flew. The rains were heavy and we walked out..
So, I know you are becoming famous, but when will I say that The Sharada Balasubramanian is my friend?
Very soon, I smiled.
With AM, I can start a conversation I left a year back.
Realised, that is the connect. Told him, how I was away from a lot of people these days.
After a great meeting with him, headed back home to have nice lunch made by aunty. Crashed and then headed off to my loosu friend Shyamala’s house. It was her engagement the next day.
It seemed like I was walking into a total mad house. Some four grandmothers, 10 aunties, uncles, kiddos. I was like..hello?
Said hi to all grandmothers and uncles..and said can I help?
I was already full eating all day... so wanted to skip my dinner. One aunty came and said..you should eat..they did not listen to me..she actually was so sweet, she fed me..no one has ever done it to me..except mom, grandmom and yeah my brother..I had a smile everytime she fed me..i just hugged her and said thanks..almost had emotional tears from my eyes..spoke to grandfather..lady, isn’t being a journalist a risky job? Oh no, it is not. I mean you have to do anti government stories. Yeah, I have done it, its no big deal! I smiled..
Another aunty came and she wanted me to take me to her house. So, not married yet? Oh no. You must, this is the right time.
(Gosh, oh no, here I go) i did not say anything..
We sat to watch Lord of the Rings at night, but with everyone asleep, we switched of the tv and slept for a few hours.
Next day, I was all busy in cajoling my friend..aunties were coming with kilos of jewellery ..decking up S..and she hated gold..like me..somehow said, manage it..on the other hand, her mother was getting angry..finally pacified both and took her.
Met another reporter from PTI there..started talking..so next your number sharada?
Oh no, please, why don’t you get married?
Ok, deal..lets see who gets married first.. I said..
After a hearty chat, came back to mad house becoming more mad..
Me and S’s dad had a very very long chat till 12.30 am. Talking about how rigid our systems are and how times have changed and we are stuck to traditions without even knowing its significance.
Uncle, i have made my mind not to marry an iyer guy. There are very few who can stand up on their own.
Soon, S chipped in. Actually, sharada is right. In fact, my prof at Malayala Manorama told me to marry someone not an iyer..sharp minded women can never find a smart man in iyer clan..i should write a separate post on this. there are only a handful of exceptions.
Finally uncle gave in. You girls read, you are intelligent, I give up. yayyyy..success!!
Uncle, you can look out for a guy for me, but no thanjavur Brahmins and all..they are very conservative and we don’t follow all that...but given a choice, no horoscope nonsense and no iyer...please! i am tired and fed up..Dont worry, he said..
Me and S wanted to have a private conversation, so we shut all doors and started talking in the kitchen..till 2 am..and what do we talk..MEN!! the complicated creatures in the planet. God knows what runs in their mind...
Our talk went on till early morning, I crashed for couple of hours and then went to meet Radhika. S dropped me off on her bike..it was raining and the long drive was awesome..
Rads had just come back from London and she was someone who knew me well...we decided to go for a movie..Went to see Aisha at the new Express Avenue mall..no interesting, good looking men..sigh! Aisha was actually a superb movie..more of the girly sorts..and me being the big fan of Abhay Deol..loved it..and especially the manly role he plays in the movie..Rads, this is the kind of guy I want to marry..so nice na! She just smiled..
We had some yummy food and went home. Between my dear friend Inderjeet called me. I heard you are in Chennai.
Ya, I am.
And you did not call me?
Sorry yaar, was busy.
When are you coming home?
Hmmm..ok, will come tonight?
Ya, i will send you my car..
I could not go for Inder’s wedding in Punjab, and it was long he was inviting me home. So, wanted to meet his wife and son.
Inder had to travel, so he said, you go home and spend time with my wife..sounds cool..
After having a heavy meal at S’s place (it was avani avattam), aunty stuffed food and sweets into my mouth..in the evening, me and Amandeep (inder’s wife) went off to her aunty’s house. realised it was Raksha bandhan...from a south Indian family to a big Punjabi family. There was nothing different..i was fed again..phew! so much love..and one bhaiya came and thrust a 100 rs note in my hand..keep this..I was so humbled..he did not even know me..
Inder’s son, Sahibjeet is adorable, chubby, cute boy. I played with him till late night..Aman loved my company..and she was so happy..said, please spend the day with me.. I had a great time with her and Sahib. She cooked awesome food..and we talked and talked..had a conversation with the high flying Inder on the way to airport..he was going to Bombay. I think he spent half the time in flights..hey sharada, I also want to do something on my own..I am so good with work, and if i put this effort in my own business, I will go places..Said, yes do it..
He actually admired how I did things close to my heart..yaar, need guts to do what you are doing..its ok yaar, just doing what I feel I want to do..but its nice when friends offer their words of support and recognize it..
The next day, I had to meet another friend Srini. He is an actor and I still had not watched his film. Told him I would watch it! Had a cup of coffee with him and came back to meet Rads. She is so much fun to be with..and that was all the time I had. I had to come back home to finish my work. Four days not doing work felt like a big deal!
I could not meet a lot of people I wanted to. Realised many things. There were some people who were friends with me from a very long time...close too..but today, they were no where in my life. And it didn’t matter to me. at the same time, there were people who were just the same with me and I know they have entered my life,..to stay and be there..and some..just faded..and sometimes I feel...how much time I wasted on all wrong people in my life..doing things..but experience..has taught me many things..
Feel happy, with some love..long lasting love...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Trivandrum Jaunts
This was probably my third trip to Trivandrum, but the most exciting one. In the sleeping city, I was restless and sleepless, discovering myself in the company of eminent writers and poets, getting motivated, to do more in life. A gist of my tour..
Day 1. Landed at Suneetha’s place and started talking like it was the end of the world. Her daughter, Nirupama was so sweet to me. There was a monster in the house too-the neighbour’s two year old kid who became very friendly with me. Called me Sharada in a very strange way. That day, we went to a place called Pathayam to have lunch. The place serves 'no masala' healthy food. After a late lunch, we headed to DC books at Statue. Spent a lot of time reading and buying books. (bookaholic me) Then headed for ice cream at Baskin and Robbins. The evening when we went home, Suneetha’s classmate dropped in. Sri lekha was the first writer I met, of course, apart from Suneetha. Sune told me that she writes poems in Malayalam and English. She had also published children’s fiction. I, being me, started off talking like she was some old friend. Bonded with ease and started asking about her writing and requested her to translate some Malayalam poems for me. Though I could understand Malayalam, it wasn’t all that great to understand poetry, but I was glad I was able to crack most of it. And the usual writer’s discussion happened. At night I sat quietly outside, talking when I saw something fly..like fire having wings..fireflies....!!!! I had never seen them in a city and it was such a treat to the eyes. I froze for sometime watching them, what a beauty! It was a great night :)
Day 2
Went to Pathayam again to have a fruit lunch. Headed to the museum next and spent hours there watching artefacts. I was always this museum loving kind and history takes me into trance. Some great paintings from Raja Ravi Varma and some amazing carvings in ivory. We then met my designer (a super awesome guy) and had a chat talking about self publishing business. Got a nice authentic Kerala saree for myself.
Day 3:
Met a very senior journalist who was on an independent path covering IT news. Spent three hours talking with him on the media issues in India. Intense..then headed to Fab India! Absolutely loved the way the place was decorated. Met an archaeologist. Another interesting person. Had lunch with her in long hours of talking about history. We then headed to meet the editor of a publishing house. She was interested in publishing my photographs on birds as a coffee table book. Why don’t you send me a proposal? I was stunned, surprised. It is nice when people approach you with some offers. She also asked me to send my poems to her, so she can edit. She is among the well-known poets in the country and I was thinking if my poems were worth sending to her. I read her poems, and got goose pimples. Two of her poems were in the collection of the best love poems of the century published by a professor from Oxford. I felt humbled interacting with her. She gifted me a nice pair of silver ear rings. I had no words to thank her for the motivation and support she offered me.
Day 4:
Went to Padamanaswamy temple in the morning and spent a good three hours there. Rich with the history of Travancore kings, this palace left me astounded. Came home and headed to Veli village. Loved sitting by the water. Soon the rain poured and the sea splashed in excitement. After spending an hour there, headed to watch Koodiyattam, the 2000 year old dance. A good two hours at the dance show and a long walk at night in the tiny lanes of Trivandrum made me feel good.I was discovering myself.
Day 5:
Went for a documentary film screening. Saw couple of movies and interacted with the director. Very interesting theme and great direction. The director was kind enough to interact with me. There was another great conversation there. In the evening headed out to another meeting. Met three more writers. One who published her book when she was 19, another one had translated Harry Potter into Malayalam. Did not talk much just listened and kept quiet. Energy saving mode :) Went out shopping.
Day 6:
Met another poet Nayantara. She came to invite Suneetha for her book launch and I as usual started talking. I asked her for an autographed copy of her book and she gladly obliged. It was amazing to see so many writers publishing independently. Then headed out and met the archaeologist again for lunch. As we went out bumped into more people. Met another girl –a computer engineer who became a copy writer. Just doing some freelancing now and want to start writing she said. Seemed like me! Started having random talks. She said she lived with her boy friend. I was shocked, in a place like Trivandrum? That was a shocker for me because even in bigger city like Chennai, boys are not even allowed in the house, forget living together. Save the best for last..went to meet my friend’s parents. Two super cool cats..one actually looked like a miniature version of a clouded leopard. Fell in love!
Then it was time to head back..my player was playing..white flag by dido..lost as always..i went back with fond memories..
Day 1. Landed at Suneetha’s place and started talking like it was the end of the world. Her daughter, Nirupama was so sweet to me. There was a monster in the house too-the neighbour’s two year old kid who became very friendly with me. Called me Sharada in a very strange way. That day, we went to a place called Pathayam to have lunch. The place serves 'no masala' healthy food. After a late lunch, we headed to DC books at Statue. Spent a lot of time reading and buying books. (bookaholic me) Then headed for ice cream at Baskin and Robbins. The evening when we went home, Suneetha’s classmate dropped in. Sri lekha was the first writer I met, of course, apart from Suneetha. Sune told me that she writes poems in Malayalam and English. She had also published children’s fiction. I, being me, started off talking like she was some old friend. Bonded with ease and started asking about her writing and requested her to translate some Malayalam poems for me. Though I could understand Malayalam, it wasn’t all that great to understand poetry, but I was glad I was able to crack most of it. And the usual writer’s discussion happened. At night I sat quietly outside, talking when I saw something fly..like fire having wings..fireflies....!!!! I had never seen them in a city and it was such a treat to the eyes. I froze for sometime watching them, what a beauty! It was a great night :)
Day 2
Went to Pathayam again to have a fruit lunch. Headed to the museum next and spent hours there watching artefacts. I was always this museum loving kind and history takes me into trance. Some great paintings from Raja Ravi Varma and some amazing carvings in ivory. We then met my designer (a super awesome guy) and had a chat talking about self publishing business. Got a nice authentic Kerala saree for myself.
Day 3:
Met a very senior journalist who was on an independent path covering IT news. Spent three hours talking with him on the media issues in India. Intense..then headed to Fab India! Absolutely loved the way the place was decorated. Met an archaeologist. Another interesting person. Had lunch with her in long hours of talking about history. We then headed to meet the editor of a publishing house. She was interested in publishing my photographs on birds as a coffee table book. Why don’t you send me a proposal? I was stunned, surprised. It is nice when people approach you with some offers. She also asked me to send my poems to her, so she can edit. She is among the well-known poets in the country and I was thinking if my poems were worth sending to her. I read her poems, and got goose pimples. Two of her poems were in the collection of the best love poems of the century published by a professor from Oxford. I felt humbled interacting with her. She gifted me a nice pair of silver ear rings. I had no words to thank her for the motivation and support she offered me.
Day 4:
Went to Padamanaswamy temple in the morning and spent a good three hours there. Rich with the history of Travancore kings, this palace left me astounded. Came home and headed to Veli village. Loved sitting by the water. Soon the rain poured and the sea splashed in excitement. After spending an hour there, headed to watch Koodiyattam, the 2000 year old dance. A good two hours at the dance show and a long walk at night in the tiny lanes of Trivandrum made me feel good.I was discovering myself.
Day 5:
Went for a documentary film screening. Saw couple of movies and interacted with the director. Very interesting theme and great direction. The director was kind enough to interact with me. There was another great conversation there. In the evening headed out to another meeting. Met three more writers. One who published her book when she was 19, another one had translated Harry Potter into Malayalam. Did not talk much just listened and kept quiet. Energy saving mode :) Went out shopping.
Day 6:
Met another poet Nayantara. She came to invite Suneetha for her book launch and I as usual started talking. I asked her for an autographed copy of her book and she gladly obliged. It was amazing to see so many writers publishing independently. Then headed out and met the archaeologist again for lunch. As we went out bumped into more people. Met another girl –a computer engineer who became a copy writer. Just doing some freelancing now and want to start writing she said. Seemed like me! Started having random talks. She said she lived with her boy friend. I was shocked, in a place like Trivandrum? That was a shocker for me because even in bigger city like Chennai, boys are not even allowed in the house, forget living together. Save the best for last..went to meet my friend’s parents. Two super cool cats..one actually looked like a miniature version of a clouded leopard. Fell in love!
Then it was time to head back..my player was playing..white flag by dido..lost as always..i went back with fond memories..
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Fresh faces
It has been quite a hiatus, I have not been writing extensively, just was not in sync. It is during these times friends come and just make your life bloom..
I had met Gopika, my friends roomie at a creative writing workshop in Chennai. It did not take us many days or years to become good friends. We had this instant connection ans we hit off well-the connection was writing of course. A few days back she called me. Hey, interested in doing translation for an American company? It is for a friend and she is coming to Coimbatore. Oh yes, why not was my immediate answer. And then I spoke to Lucie. She was a German and lived in America. Hey, heard so much about you Sharada and can't wait to see you. I just smiled. Me too, I said. She messaged me as soon as she landed here from Delhi. Waiting to see you :)
The next day morning, I landed up at the hotel. She had a small gift for me. There are two gifts, she said. One from me and one from Gopika. Now, tell me who gave what. I knew it and laughed. It was so sweet. Someone I was meeting for the first time was gifting me something. Sharada, I asked Gopika one question, said Lucie. You know Sharada since a decade? She said, No. It has been three months I guess. She was shocked. And you guys spoke to each other as if you knew since ages..I told Lucie, "It does not matter how long you know a person for, its a connect that is important." True, she said. Then I met Rashmi aunty, Sally, Shefali, Chinmay, Kanika..and man I felt like I knew them since long. I started discussing history of temples with Kanika, with Shefali talking about my passions on writing, with Rashmi aunty about every random thing.
I loved the experience of interviewing after a long time too! Lucie was one person I could talk to for hours and hours. She was amazing. We cracked jokes, laughed, commented, like good ol' buddies catching up after long..
I really wonder this strange connection I have with people. People with who I get connected randomly and we become great friends, people I get to know ..but never meet, people who are far away from me, yet close. Makes me feel relation has no boundaries, or time.
Spoke to a few more people in the last few days and the experience cannot be expressed in words..
End of the day, Lucie held my hand and said thanks. A nice hug and I told her bye..
She is coming home tomorow with Chris and Sally to celebrate New Year with me..
I cant wait :)
I had met Gopika, my friends roomie at a creative writing workshop in Chennai. It did not take us many days or years to become good friends. We had this instant connection ans we hit off well-the connection was writing of course. A few days back she called me. Hey, interested in doing translation for an American company? It is for a friend and she is coming to Coimbatore. Oh yes, why not was my immediate answer. And then I spoke to Lucie. She was a German and lived in America. Hey, heard so much about you Sharada and can't wait to see you. I just smiled. Me too, I said. She messaged me as soon as she landed here from Delhi. Waiting to see you :)
The next day morning, I landed up at the hotel. She had a small gift for me. There are two gifts, she said. One from me and one from Gopika. Now, tell me who gave what. I knew it and laughed. It was so sweet. Someone I was meeting for the first time was gifting me something. Sharada, I asked Gopika one question, said Lucie. You know Sharada since a decade? She said, No. It has been three months I guess. She was shocked. And you guys spoke to each other as if you knew since ages..I told Lucie, "It does not matter how long you know a person for, its a connect that is important." True, she said. Then I met Rashmi aunty, Sally, Shefali, Chinmay, Kanika..and man I felt like I knew them since long. I started discussing history of temples with Kanika, with Shefali talking about my passions on writing, with Rashmi aunty about every random thing.
I loved the experience of interviewing after a long time too! Lucie was one person I could talk to for hours and hours. She was amazing. We cracked jokes, laughed, commented, like good ol' buddies catching up after long..
I really wonder this strange connection I have with people. People with who I get connected randomly and we become great friends, people I get to know ..but never meet, people who are far away from me, yet close. Makes me feel relation has no boundaries, or time.
Spoke to a few more people in the last few days and the experience cannot be expressed in words..
End of the day, Lucie held my hand and said thanks. A nice hug and I told her bye..
She is coming home tomorow with Chris and Sally to celebrate New Year with me..
I cant wait :)
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