tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-42119972972495227882023-11-16T05:46:36.689-08:00Journey of lifeSharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-58946707471287374232013-08-01T01:41:00.000-07:002013-08-01T01:41:41.640-07:00Already, always listening<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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This was something I should have written a long time back, but just a few minutes back, a friend was trying to have a restrained conversation with me assuming certain reactions from me, which may or may not be true. We all have that, don't we. I also did have that.<br />
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It is called already, always listening. I learned this word from Landmark forum in 2008, where I got THE breakthrough of my life, leading me to become a much lesser mauldin. <br />
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In my life, already, always listening happened this way. From childhood, having brought up in a tougher circumstance, living with two control freaking men in my life (bro and dad) crunched in a 400 square feet apartment in Mumbai, and I wondered, what a life! And then there was this thought about them I carried all along to a teenager and later. I was always in the mode of 'already always listening'. For most part of it, when I shifted the control button to myself, I was already thinking, no use telling them anything, they will always be like this and I am wasting my time trying to convince my passion or dreams. <br />
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For every time, before even I could approach them, I had a preset mind, this is how they will respond. So my mind is mentally deciding the answer, so where is the room for openness for allowing my mind without pre-conditioning it?<br />
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I realised this in forum. I decided to change the way I look at people and how they would react or behave. Rather, I just stopped anticipating responses in the way I think I usually would have.<br />
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Most of us live like that, and most contradictions, fights happen because we are already, always listening. Most of us refuse to look behind the layers of an individual, in a different perspective and only look at things we want to capture and then we tag them like, he is like this or she is like this. How much of a space or room, do we really give to people to let them be someone else and not what you think they are.<br />
Most of the communication problems arise from this, from already always listening. <br />
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We create these rackets, borrowing my word from Forum. We refuse to create choice in a harmonic way and judge people in a pattern. When we allow ourselves to openly embrace someone without inhibitions, there are lesser frictions, lesser issues and the relation becomes strong and binding.<br />
I remember after the forum, how my mind towards my brother and father changed, how we rebonded with a new way of looking at each other, as not how we used to in the past. It changed the world for me.<br />
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Already, always listening is a barrier. Break it. <br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-43512157632223725762013-04-09T02:03:00.002-07:002013-04-09T02:03:19.960-07:00Behind the glass window<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
</div>The half painted white bungalow stood quiet with wooden poles on its surface wall. Overlooking the closed glass window was a small hut with roofs made of dried coconut leaves. A toddler with a rotund face and honey brown eyes joyfully played around. How did it matter,if he lived in a bungalow or a hut. how could he even differentiate? His father's hand reached to his face, gently caressing his soft cheeks. A smile touched the child's face. His little sister stood at the half constructed gate, showing something that she had. She waved out her hand, giggling, in her old brown skirt and scattered, unkempt hair. He just dragged his little knees, not caring about the mud that scratched his skin or what people would think if he did that. He was an innocent child, who lived in his small world of joys where pride, ego, wealth failed to matter even slightly. Rather it was unknown or even non existent.<br />
As I witnessed this, I learned something. I smiled at the little kid and walked away from the window, my heart full of happiness! <br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-64730917370739449902013-03-31T04:11:00.001-07:002013-03-31T04:44:29.821-07:00Idleness is good It is yet another lazy sunday, after a long time. Last week I spent long hours working on my pet project, organising work with a zest to achieve things on time. Last evening, I entered saturation for the umpteenth time. Though I love work and I am passionate about it, I need different things to make me happy. Its just how I am. And sometimes this break day helps to fill some gaps and ensure I was getting back on track. It does motivate me. <br />
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Sometimes, it makes me awfully guilty that I'm idle for a day, but I brush aside those thoughts. I did all what a perfect sunday demanded from me. A great lunch, a long siesta, randomly shuttling between reading short story and life story of swami vivekananda. In the midst, the noon chirp of birds, a slight breeze that merged with the air from fan blades, the call of the flurry white cat, whimpering like a child. The honey bees cocooned in their hexagon boxes, fanning themselves with their wings, cooling under the drumstick tree, the silence of the streets, and the summery heaviness in my head. <br />
While I was idle, I was thinking, as these words sprouted out from my soul. This idleness always leads to a creative spark in me. It does not happen when I'm working on plans and schedules, what next or when my mind is churning about when I will finish my work, my deadlines etc. Idleness is good. Not for long. But for a time when you unleash your mind with boring random thoughts. Best of all, idleness, atleast for me, helps me to slow down on life and relish things around me. It helps me craft words and prepares me for the next big thing. It keeps me going!<br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-6160725783704053422013-03-07T19:49:00.003-08:002013-03-07T19:49:57.889-08:00Hindi words in Tamil<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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This is a little funny, but then it has been there on my mind for a long time. Having a Bombay upbringing and living in Chennai for quite a while during my career, I have got to see both the sides and how north perceives south and viceversa. That is something I am not going to talk about here. <br />
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A few years back when I was living in Chennai, I was asking my friend if he wanted to join me for a movie?<br />
He:Which movie?<br />
Me: Hindi movie, Saawariya<br />
He: What saawariya? And he started laughing! Are you going to watch a movie with such a title? And he would not stop laughing. Saawriya in Tamil means, "are you dying?"<br />
We both ended up laughing. Finally, he never ended up coming for the movie. <br />
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Most of my friends in Chennai perpetually, in their effort to speak Tamil, made me laugh! There are many things I cannot script here!<br />
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Recently, there was a movie I saw, called Kai Po Che. In Gujarat and Mumbai, they use the word during Uttaran, the kite festival, when you defeat someone in the kite game.<br />
In Tamil, kai po che means hand is gone. Kai means hand, poche means gone. Imagining how my Tamil friends would want to watch Kaipoche. :D<br />
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Small thrills of life, courtesy, the diverse languages we have in out country!<br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-2520257192467660582013-02-28T20:30:00.000-08:002013-02-28T20:30:27.617-08:00When work is luxury?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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This morning I went down to meet a friend of mine, excited that I would be going for a bird watching trip in the evening to see a Great Horned Owlet. She said, 'You have the luxury to do it, I don't".<br />
There are many people who think that work from home, or choosing your priorities in life is easy. It is not. I have been talking to another friend of mine J, who quit her corporate job to pursue Buddhism as a study. We always feel people are envious when we say we travel or we do something. So, here is the thing. You always have choices in life. The path we have taken is not an easy one. Everything has its own pros and cons and leaving away everything to follow our passion seems rosy to the outside world, but we have our own battles to fight.<br />
To establish to this level, was a huge task, to be where we are, to be able to make these choices, we struggled our way through, it wasn't easy and it is not something people even think about, they only look at, yeah you travel, you go birdwatching. If you want to make that choice, no one is stopping you, but yourself. And then people talk about hundred commitments they have. Fine, I also have commitments, but I made my way through, so if you want to, do it, else stop envying, and live your own life! It is as simple as that!<br />
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When I am working from home and of course being single and no one to help me, my responsibilities increase manifold. When I am typing away, the cooker will whistle, the milk will be boiling, someone will knock at the door and yes I am a one man army. I also have to financially support myself to pay my bills. So, people who think that passionate people, lead a luxurious life, go get a life yourself!<br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-44881888518966012342013-02-13T03:06:00.001-08:002013-02-13T03:06:49.280-08:00Lessons of life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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I know I dont update my blog often, but there has to be something I need to say. <br />
Last fifteen days were chaotic like crazy. I cancelled and booked tickets, travelled, lot of meetings and finally, today a few things dawned on me yet another time after three years.<br />
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I got an opportunity recently for editing for a big corporate company. From initially, I tried to resist it and my inner voice was telling me, no! I refused to listen to it and underwent some serious learning. <br />
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So, here are a few things I learnt:<br />
When your instinct says no, never do it. You might like doing something, but then end up wasting a lot of energy and time before you realise, its not for you! When I was discussing with my best buddies about my decision, they stood by me and said, do only things that you like and most importantly the people whom you work for should deserve you. I realised that wasn't really the case. Also, earlier, one of my colleagues had told me this. When you are not learning in a job and doing it as a chore, there is no added development and that is dangerous, so move out of your comfort zone. It did strike me today. I did NOT want it. Also, here I was carving a path for myself in environmental journalism, and where did financial editing even come in? I did not think about it then, now I do. What difference is it going to make or where is it going to take me, nowhere higher. That itself was one part of elimination process. Also, after a ten year span in the media, your ego does get hurt when someone is trying to show who he or she is, controlling you in the name of work. I did not need it now. Someone was taking my time for granted, that is something that just does not work. <br />
I don't wait for people. I also do not make people wait and anyone who knows me can vouch for that, learnt that trait from my father who imposed punctuality as a rule more than a value. <br />
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Two, I realised, how matter how much nice people could be at the onset, it is important to give it time before you become close to anyone. I realised it in episode 2 yesterday. Learning to draw lines with people, especially with people whom you would be professionally involved in. What happens is, the person might mess your work, or intrude and make things difficult for you in such a way that you would think a hundred times before expressing something as you might offend them. So, I would keep at bay and talk only if intervention was needed. <br />
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Three, listen to your friends who know what is good for you. Anita, my pillar has been asking me to apply for a fellowship since two years and today, I have decided to go ahead. I know friends talk in the best of interest and its great to see them happy. Especially for the things they choose for you and your future.<br />
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I think I am honestly blessed to have friends who have been shock absorber in my life, who have heard me out, at different stage in life, been with me, offered me their hugs and solace. Salutes!<br />
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I somehow sense a huge freedom right now, away from the corporate cacophony, living my ideal life!!<br />
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Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-45866636673594318432012-09-21T06:56:00.002-07:002012-09-21T06:56:52.076-07:00chennai summer and people<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
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It has been a long time since I wrote any blog post. I say this on and off because I am caught up in a world of my own, traveling and then last couple of weeks finally took respite. After running a marathon with writing and other work deadlines amidst traveling, working out, running and walking and losing three kilos, i have been on a rough yet sweet ride..<br />
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It is true though that when you are not in your home, you really know and value your home much more, which is exactly the kind of feeling i have right now. I left Coimbatore last week and came to Chennai and been dreading over for a week with the horrid evergreen summer in the city..I have been a little switched off, tired, and want to be alone, just me and myself, but then I need to be with people right now, that is the situation, but no complaints as in another week I am off to Taiwan, all alone, with no rambling phone calls, no smses and I can walk alone in the city with a feeling that no one knows me and how I love that!<br />
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I am just counting my days literally..Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-11114329881711389982012-08-26T21:23:00.001-07:002012-08-26T21:23:43.171-07:00 A life changing week?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<p>The whole of last week was crazy and bizzare but had lot of learning in life. I met people who helped me solve a BIG problem, I met social transformers who have dedicated their life about something I can't ever imagine thinking of doing.</p>
<p>So here are is the thing. I have been having horrible tenants and been grappling with that issue since last three months till I completely broke up one day thinking I need to do something. I finally remembered I knew someone locally, a journalist who could help me. I called his number with no hestitation, it was rather an intuitive call. I had met this guy, R, only once before this sometime early this year on World Wetlands Day at Ukkadam Lake. We met briefly for three minutes and since we were in the same profession, he took my number. Little did I know I would call him someday, out of the blue in a panic situation.</P>
<p>R promised to help me immediately. He gave me a cop's number and in half an hour the cop came and everything was sorted. Sometimes I think we just stop ourselves from approaching someone and getting things sorted because we hesitate or because we want to do everything by ourselves or because we would not want to trust someone. Well, this is something I have learnt from my life, I would trust my intuition with people, even if its strangers. My travel journeys have taught me this. In places, where I have been stranded, local people have helped me, taking and accepting me as their daughters and sisters and friends and giving me the strength and support, which possibly even my family would not. And I see most urban people being judgmental about anyone. The immediate thinking is more on- this person definitely wants something from me, thats why he is helping me. Hey, urbanites, you are WRONG! Not everyone are like you, meeting and helping people only with purpose. The small town people are much more trustworthy. Anyway, sorry for the digression. The cop was super helpful and he told me not to worry, the kind of assurance which was so comforting.</p>
<p>So, here are the two strangers who were amazing to me! Sorted.</p>
<p>I have been helping P Manimaran, a boy who has been serving leprosy patients from a young age. He is more a younger brother to me now. I had written a story about him for a wellness magazine. The editor of this magazine is Niharika, who I have never seen but she is one person I can and would pick the phone and call if I am in trouble. So, we help him to organise a press meet on Mother Teresa Day on 26th. Turned out well. Apparently, the article reached out to people, who ended up funding him for his goal to build a hospital for leprosy patients. I had this tiny happiness inside me. Finally, something constructive. So, this boy says someone who read this article wanted to meet me. He was the owner of a huge chain of restaurants here in Coimbatore. I finally met him last week and we ended up talking for seven hours about people, service, family, spirituality and what not. Yesterday, I had gone to the uncle's place to meet his family and we ended up spending the whole day together. There I had an opportunity to meet a lady who was serving 160 mentally challenged kids in Niligiris area. She herself had a girl child, 18 years old, suffering from mental illness but still she was serving other kids like her. Wonder how she did that. I spent an evening listening to her very tragical life story and had tears looking at her daughter and what people go through in life. I hope I am able to be of some help to her. </P>
<p> Met another social worker who spent his salary for the welfare of women. He cleaned toilets to save money after he got retired and puts that money to help women who need it. These are the women who are mentally challenged. I spent some time talking to him. I cant imagine such people exist in our society. And as he says, you do not need a lot of money to do social work. You really dont. That is what people think. And every work that you do need not be associated with monetary help. </P>
<p> It is amazing how one person led me to connect with 5 different people and all of them working on a social cause. It has been an amazing week, with a potpourri of emotions and what not. It has also made me think about life deeply, look at the definition of problem intensely. It is not about the money, gadgets, home or any material thing you may have, it is more with the people, your attitude and if you consider yourself to be a part of a system where you are a part of this change that can alter someone's life. </P>
Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-49807414048859026052012-07-08T01:14:00.001-07:002012-07-08T01:20:07.976-07:00Caste, religion and all that blah<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<p>I have been meaning to write this post since a very long time, again there was so much inside me that was waiting to get out. I have always been an anti-country, anti-religion and anti-caste. I am a human being, a woman and that is my identity in this universe. I don't even want to think I am an Indian, I belong to this globe, to this universe and it is as simple as that.</p>
<p>I was born into a Brahmin family (not out of my choice). I can't tell you how much I hated being born into a caste based family system. There were many things that rankled my mind when I was growing up. I never understood why my brother wore the holy thread, the mark of a brahmin. Was it to prove Brahminism? And why? There were rituals and poojas in the house and it all suffocated me after some point, especially today when I don't realise the point or sense in it. What do these religious events signify? When I was growing up, I was told to behave in a way of a Brahmin girl. Focus on traditions. So, I ask what are these traditions and why do we need them to live a life? Somehow, the child in me was always asking questions. As I was growing up, these questions became even more intense and I realised through my very own experiences that these things do not make any sense to me. </p>
<p>I was speaking to one of the brahmin priests (this was when my uncle passed away and the 13 day ritual was happening). I asked him the meaning of the rituals. He was appalled when I asked but was also happy and told me dad, see your daughter is asking questions, very good. I said, listen I want to know the significance of this. After I heard what I did, I completely lost it. Those were prayers to make sure my uncle went to swarglok and those prayers were meant to request people/animals in the path of his swarglok, ensuring my uncle reached only heaven. Now, tell me this, how do I know where I go, and how unless I die and experience it. We do these rituals in the name of religion, blindly, without understanding why and what. Some things in the past could be applicable in days of yore, but not now. This is what I tell my mother. </p>
<p>A simple example. I was at my friend's place in Bombay (she was a tamil brahmin). When I turned to touch the curd, her mother stopped me, don't touch it she said. I wondered why. It was then she told, you should touch water and then touch the curd. I understood. In those days, perishable and non perishable were kept seperately and just so that it does not get spoiled, people washed their hand and then touched the curd. Today, we have fridge, for God's sake and I still find Tam Brahms following these norms. Does that make sense? </p>
<p>When I probed further with spiritual gurus, I found out the concept of primary and secondary religion. Most of people do the secondary religion thing. Let me tell you the difference. Both are two ways to reach God. I think it is okay even if you don't believe in God. People who use the secondary method approach God through the thousand rituals, to appease the form God and make sure their sins are absolved. For the former, they believe in formless God and they just are spiritual people. Maybe they just believe in the supreme form and nothing else. </p>
<p>Dip in the ganges, rituals after rituals, going to various temples, all these are more like done to please God. I don't believe in it but yet I was forced and still forced to be a part of these pujas and rituals. Now, that I know the belief systems I possess, it is impossible for me to accept or abide by it. So, I refrain from it. I do not want to do something without understanding the purpose behind it or due to some obsolete culture or tradition. </p>
<p>I never liked the bindi wearing thing, or sitting and chanting some mantra because I had to. The very thing about all these things were something I could not relate to.</p>
<p>When people ask me about marriage and all, I say, I do not want a Brahmin guy for I do not want to be sucked into these religious things. I would rather be forced into this without a choice if I marry someone from the caste. I am an anti caste, anti religion and I am very very happy about it. </p>
<p>I remember once I had gone to my mother's cousin's house. He was a doctor. When the topic of marriage broached with great intent, I was spontaneous enough to tell that I chose not to marry someone from my caste. He was aghast. You will pollute our genes if you marry an outcaste. I was angered and I did not quit. I was like, how do you think caste system evolved? Basic fact-divison of labour and all this talk of Brahmin comes from head and shudras come from the feet is utter rubbish. Some sick Brahmins from the past who had all the administrative capabilities did this to have an upper hand. Nothing else. You say brahmins are more pure and educated, and what sense. If dalits or anyone else were given the opportunity to have education when brahmins did study, they would have also done well. So, the first thing, denial of basic right. So, we only controlled them, to have an upper hand and we did that by supressing them. What blood line, lineage are we talking about? I had a very healthy argument and then uncle gave up.</p>
<p>I once was talking to a monk who spent most of his time meditating in the Himalayas and he told me the meaning of true brahmin. It means anyone who is a pure soul. Now, tell me does a soul have caste or religion or nationality? No. Does your blood have caste, religion? No. There are only 4 blood groups, be it Indian, American, African or anyone. So, where is this caste thing? </p>
<p>Even the system of arranged marriage- Brahmin, Iyer, again Palakkad iyer, tamil iyer, subdivided into tanjavur, tirunelveli, and what not. Gothram, star and then horroscope, now where will you find a man? Honestly, I am a proponent of intercaste marriages. It opens you up to looking at people for being human, beyond caste, community and other things. And just imagine, you see a person for his qualities and not for which caste he belongs to, you are creating a new thought process. Also, I do not understand, how parents bring this casteism into their children. He is the maid's boy, don't play with him. Now, how will a child know that unless he or she is told about it, right? It is we who seed caste discrimination into the young hearts and we pollute their minds. It is a disgusting thought indeed. I totally agree with Richard Dawkins when he says that when a child is born, we should let them choose their religion, when they are born. Why thrust out religious responsibilities on them? They can choose to be a Buddhist, Hindu or even an atheist. </p>
<p>I see my niece- she cant leave the house without a bindi, my brother would hate it. He has given up on me long back because I turned deaf ears to something I do not believe in. I would do that, not occasion demanding, but me wanting it. I will never do something I am not comfortable for the sake of religious matters. </p>
<p>I have taught my maid's daughter back in Mumbai, gone to their house, but I never became "polluted" because they belong to a lower caste. I even hate that word lower caste. Thankfully, my grand parents, though not educated were much forward in those days. They used to feed the dhobis who came home. In their village in kerala, they had muslim neighbours who used to come to their house and jokingly ask if they wanted fish. Grandpa was always a neat man, with white clean dhoti, religiously praying, and at the same time, a man whose heart was open with no indifference for people from other caste. That seeped into my mother. She thinks brahmin is the worst community. She keeps telling me that. I agree with her. Now, let me say, its not about being brahmin or being dalit. Brahmins should not talk about their superiority or dalits should not feel and express that they are of lower caste. By saying that, they only put themselves down. So chuck all this, lets be humans and do what we want.</p>
<p>So, I say, stop this brahmin talk, this superiority mentality and look at individuals for who they are. I also do not believe that blood is thicker than water. Exposed to traveling international, every individual has helped me to cross a hurdle, and these do not belong to my "bloodline". They are humans with values. Period.</p>
<p>Also, Meena Kandasamy has written a poem on becoming a brahmin. She is a poet, and she calls herself a Dalit. Well, I do not think you got to be a brahmin hater to be a good dalit. </p>
<p>There was an interesting discussion in satyamev jayate today and it was really good. Check it out.</p>Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-88164089705954038402012-07-05T00:37:00.001-07:002012-07-05T02:11:52.005-07:00Post for my friend's blog<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Hi everyone. First off, my apologies for having disappeared completely. Some personal issues to get sorted out and such-like. Also, this project that began with K's post in the last month, continues with another dear friend Sharada pitching in.
<p>I met Sharada while on assignment at TOI. She was with Outlook at the time. We've been friends ever since. She has also written for anthologies and is a follower of this blog and a well-wisher. Another strong woman who I love and admire is talking about being a girl / woman at home where the men are more vocal with their opinions about the fairer sex.</b></p></i>
<p>Growing up in a vibrant city like Mumbai, my future seemed bleak. Well, I did not think that way. It was more a thinking that came from men and society. "Oh, she can’t be an IIT engineer, she is always out playing with the boys and kids, she scores zilch in Maths and science", and then I was a tagged "loser" in my early teens. I was never a typical girl with oiled, long and plaited hair; coy and worried about how a "girl" should be. As a child, I grew up playing football, climbing trees, stealing mangoes, cycling out with the boys, with no worries about the future. Well, I still would, I don’t doubt it. </p>
<p>Even though we lived in a city like Bombay, the men in my family and my extended family had loads of reservations about my dressing, why l did not have a pottu on my forehead, why I never wore saree for occasions, why I never learned carnatic music, why I wore even two inch heels or coloured my lips, and the list was actually endless. Did I do all this for a reason? No. The intention was never to attract men or to go against the family. It was just for me. As simple as that. And why would anyone care? It is my face, my body.</p>
<p>As a boy, my brother did not have to go through any of this. No one would question him why he wore pants or jeans for a family function and not a veshti, why there were no ash marks on his forehead, or if he knew how to cook. We talk about gender inequality in society, but everything begins at home. It is a fact.</p>
<p>My brother was allowed to take his bike and go out late at nights, spend nights with his friends, bring them home, go on a travel vacation without having to worry about hearing a ‘no’ from my dad. The case with me was different. Even on days when I was working for an NGO, coming home at 9.30 invited chaos. I was never allowed to watch MTV or Channel V like my classmates from my posh South Mumbai college. During those times, I used to sit alone in a room, listening to old English classics on FM Rainbow. I was not allowed to dream, to choose my career, but my brother could do all that. I had to break this shackle - being a woman and still choosing my independence and way of life.</p>
<p>Tag me a tomboy, tag me a brash girl, or someone who does not follow traditions, it does not matter to me. Honestly. When the point came to choosing my education, my brother rather ruthlessly dragged me into commerce when my mind dreamed of doing literature and economics and pursuing journalism. Writing was my biggest emotional outlet and it gave me a sense of freedom. Enough was enough. I took a decision to break this indiscriminate inequality right at home. </p>
<p>Think about this. There are two people at home and one is given all the freedom because he is a man and one is stripped of even basic freedom because she is a woman and she is to be married someday. So the girl, in essence, learns Palakkad Iyer cooking, maintains long hair, doesn’t raise her voice, gets up early in the morning, cleans and mops the house, does not mingle with the boys and take a career that is ‘safe’ for women.</p>
<p>When I wanted to make a career in fashion designing or hospitality industry, I was not allowed to give entrance exam because these careers were apparently not good for women. So, I ask what is a good career for a man? And you will hear - "a man can do anything". If a man can, then why not a woman? I hate being typecast into something because I am a woman.</p>
<p>I did become a journalist. I remember the days when I used to come home late in the night after working for a newspaper. My father would be scoffing at me every morning for getting up late and how I would carry off a marital life, if I was like this.</p>
<p>The essence of the thing is control-over the clothes you wear, over not being allowed to go out with boys and party, late night movies, job, everything needed a nod from the men in the family. So who am I in the world, in this godforsaken society and what is my real identity? It was after I ventured out, listening to my heart, that I realised that it was something I had to create from within, and it was something I would live with.</p>
<p>Years have passed, times have changed, people have changed and so has society, and I have evolved from a tom boy to a woman who loves draping sarees, celebrating festivals, cooking and all the other things that women are ‘expected’ to do. The difference is - I am doing this because I love and enjoy it.</p>
<p>It is for ME, not to please anyone. It is not to show off culture, or to prove that I am ‘God fearing’ (as portrayed by matrimonial profiles), or to prove a point that, “Hey, look, I have challenged you and proved to be successful.” Nothing of that sort. I am not here to prove a point. I am not here to argue that I made it. </p>
<p>The feeling of being yourself, making your own decisions despite a hundred odds makes you stand up for yourself. It is as simple as that. After a successful career and moving across cities, I cherished the independence of meeting new people, getting up when I wanted to, keeping my home messy at times, cook for myself, go on a long walk to the beach at night, without having to worry about who will be waiting at home to churn my mind. I breathe freedom. It has elevated me in many ways.</p>
<p>I can take care of myself, without having to counsel my family on every little thing, I am super confident about all the decisions I make, and I have no regrets. If I was the one who would succumb to family pressures of being a homely woman, I would not have reached this far. When you ask a man, why you draw these lines for women about time factor, dressing, going out, you are most likely to hear this - "we care for you", or "we are scared something might happen to you". </p>
<p>Concern is fine, but in the name of ‘we care for you’, you are only imposing and not allowing us to explore the world on our own. We all have our own judgements about people and surroundings. As women, we also know how to take care of ourselves, only if you give us a chance to let that experience enter our life, rather than saying - "don’t talk to this boy, he will dump you, don’t take this as career, you can’t do it, don’t go out at night, something will happen". How long are the women going to be in this cobweb of not choosing to feel and live her life in the name of security, safety, care and protection? Give me a break!</p>
<p>Be it a man or a woman, let’s face it, we make choices for ourselves, not for the family and not for society. As I always like to say individuality is much more important and essential than just bending down to rules of men and society. And to recognise and realise this individuality mandates independent thinking, which can only come when you make decisions, not someone else choosing for you, be it life partner, career or even your way of living!</p>Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-40278892706409406112012-06-06T12:55:00.000-07:002012-06-06T12:55:02.523-07:00Home exchange, anyone?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Wonder what the post is about..but hey before I get to that I must tell you the last ten days has been pathetic. Why? I had tenants downstairs who called me and ringed my door bell for the tiniest possible thing. Irking me of course. So, I took this nice little break from them after showing bouts of anger (the patient me lost it). Shomita came home after a blissful three weeks in Arunachal's Eagle Nest Wildlife Sanctuary. I quickly get ready on a Sunday morning, grinding the sambar masala and putting the rice in the cooker to make her an awesome lunch. I head to the airport, lazily and then excitedly. I wore my latest John Players 'Miss Players' I got from Bangalore, was so much in love with it..Off I go to the airport and give Shoms a big hug and ask her what cats she saw in the jungle. (she is a small cats expert) We come home, watch a silly hindi movie and laugh, we talk about relationships, family, food and what we will do for my birthday. Get drunk, get sloshed (I really want to do it someday, never done it before), or do what..just freak out as usual..After a nice meal that Shoms ate without any complaints, I set off to sleep after many sleepless nights.
I needed a break, what better than Shom's home? Sunday evening we head home and I am surprised to see Sheeba..We all had a nice time, went to naturals and had a nice hair spa (heaven after all the messy week). All the heaven turned hell when on a fine monday morning, I got a terrible cold and a running nose. As awful as it sounds, I sit back and sleep, cancelling all my appointments for the day. The next morning at 7 am, the crazy call of tenant came! There I go..Shoms, I gotta go. Maddening morning I tell you! When I went home, I realised that things were normal and I had to come back for absolutely stupid reason. Last few days, after banging my head against the wall, I called it quits. Can you please find another house, if you can't be self dependent? Well, I don't like constant door bells rings, no 7 am calls or questions on if I am single or my brother was married (what the hell man), why should I answer where I am going, when will I be back. And not to you oh newcomer. Bah!! Gosh, even my folks don't do it! Ok, I am ranting, but hey this is something I gotta tell! I spend the day taking medicines, pushing myself to cook something to fill my hungry stomach, trying to read and nothing works! I still sob and my BP is shooting up (this is so unlike me).
Today, I go for a meeting and look at my phone. 15 missed calls from my so called tenant waiting to ask me when the plumber and electrician will come. Come on, give me a break. I gave a quick call and told them this is not done and they cannot think they can call me like 15 times and I will just shut up and not say anything. I dialled the panic button-mom. She did not take my call. I dialled the next obvious number- brother. Hey, are you in a meeting, need five minutes..Go ahead, he says..Then I go nonstop for ten minutes and then breathe. My brother said one thing-ignore and that's exactly what I did. I was tired when I came home and just when I thought I needed a cat nap, door bell rings. Oh, no, hope not the tenant again. It was the electrician. I have repaired and sorted. And he looked at me and my face said, now what? Money, he said as she shrugged. Well, it was the problem of electricity board, why should I pay, I shrugged, the typical journalist in me, and questions shot out. No, we actually don't get money, blah blah. My mind was running fast, nooooooooooo, no sob story now! I have enough. I took out a note and gave it to me. I did not sleep after that. Made myself a nice cup of ginger tea, slowly sipping it and went out for a walk. A familiar face smiled at me, "Hi". I was so happy. I parked myself at friend's place and let out my sob story and she and her parents totally empathised with me. So, I come back home, after a nice dinner and do a channel swap on my tv. I stopped at Zee Studio- The Holiday. Perfect. The holiday even sounds good. The movie was fantabulously fantastic. Two women who break up with their respective boyfriends, wanting their time alone, go home swapping. One goes from LA to London and vice versa and what happens next..watch the movie..
So, here it is..You swap your house with another person. Go and live in a nice house and experience a change, and come back with a fresh mind. Now, this crazy idea has already crept into my mind. I want to do house swapping. So, I go to homeexchange.com and see what's in store. It is amazing! So, I can advertise about the beautiful birds that come to my trees, the breeze and the kind of solitude you get here. I want to probably do this in an Asian country to start off with. And of late, my dream place is Pakistan. Ask me why. I did a wikitravel search and Pakistan is really out of this world. My father and grandfather lived there before partition. I want to feel the place. So, I am going to check that out.
Sorry for the long post. May peace prevail. Thanks for the patience!
Last but the best, my brother called to tell me that he ordered an exclusive collection of calvin and hobbes for me and its coming home tomorrow! Love you brother, for this and more gifts in the years to come. This is the best and only pre birthday gift of my life..
Signing offSharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-49884471827117478442012-04-26T07:22:00.000-07:002012-04-26T07:24:41.119-07:00Valparai, misty meadows and a Russian couchsurfer<a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-0jG_3Z_mtZc/T5lZKtjvUMI/AAAAAAAACTs/uL3iIn33jOk/s640/DSCN7145.JPG"></a>It is almost a year since I went to Valparai with Jo. I was waiting to get to Valparai after months of constant work. I set off with my mother and my first couchsurfer from Russia, who lived in the US and now is in Pollachi (coconut capital of India). We met up for a random coffee meet in Coimbatore. He wrote in to me after seeing my profile on couchsurfing. We chatted up for long before he left for Beijing. When he came back, he stayed with us for a day, relishing home made Indian food. He got me some nice souvenir from Beijing-an old coin, some flower seeds and tennis balls! We saw some of his documentaries of Africa where he spent 16 months traveling. It was amazing to hear his story.
Anyway, so I decide to go to Valparai and Sergey wanted to join me and I was happy to take him along. We stayed at the forest guest house. It is paradise, trust me. You just stay bang opposite the mountain and you can watch the mist floating by. Sergey was waiting for us at Pollachi bus stand and we took a bus to Valparai. 40 hair pin binds, glimpses of vast green tea valleys, forest patches, sounds of birds and we finally reached at about 12 pm. We had a nice tea at Valparai town and Sergey had no problems having roadside tea! I was quite excited. Kandaiya (guard and cook) is someone I absolutely respect, for his humanity, honesty and being soooooo extraordinarily kind. I soon gave him money to buy veggies and we sat outside watching the mountains. I am so happy that Valparai isn't as touristy as Ooty. Sergey and me got talking and my mom took a nice nap. We had a nice glass of black tea and spoke about our travel.
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After sometime I dozed off, pretty much needed after long working months. In the evening, had another glass of tea and we went off for our evening walk. We met many local people and some interesting kids who chatted up with me. The road was calm and I could hear whistling of birds. We went to the other side of the mountain. A long winding path and then we came back and chatted up on Sergey's India travel plan. Sitting with a map and another glass of tea, I told him where all he could go. It was almost like a small geography lesson. Soon, it was dinner time and then I settled down with a book and went off to sleep after that. The next morning, I woke up late but woke up with a view of mountains. A small walk and then all I wanted was sleep and books. I could see the huge verdant mountain from my room. It was so soothing to the eyes.
The evening Sergey and me decided to walk to Valprai town (about 5kms). The view was breathtaking. Rolling meadows, manicured mountains and tall teak trees. There was no one on the road. We got a lot of fruits, had dinner and as we came back it started drizzling. The long walk was very refreshing. He stopped by a temple and asked me if I knew the Gods there. I went about explaining Gods and Hinduism to him.
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We sat outside watching mountains in the dark. He spoke about his days in Brazil when he was locked up for a week in rains and all they did was play cards and sing. Sergey had traveled to Africa, South East Asia, South America, Europe, phew! He was talking about his amazing trip to Burma. I love people like these, backpackers, no attitude and are open to living in a small town like Pollachi and rather rejoicing it. Much better than sobby Indians who live in the US or abroad for few years and can't bear pollution in India and walk around with Bisleri bottles dying to go back to foreign nation. How disgusting they can be! And here was someone who lived in the US for long and living in a tinsel town! How amazing! Inspiring too! He came to Pollachi for job just to travel across India. I wish I could do that too!
Sergey left on Wednesday morning, but I stayed on with mom, going for long walks and eating good food. I went walking with Sergey for 4 kms to see him off at bus stop. The road was totally empty and I could not see one person walking or going on bike.
In the evening I was hearing stories of leopards from local people and then went to a house and had a nice cup of coffee. The rains were heavy and it suddenly became cold. After eating hot dosas, I read and slept off. I left early morning and some kind people gave me some plants that I could keep in my garden.
I bid adieu to Kandaiya and the wonderful amazing local people promising to come back. Next time, I hope to stay with locals and hear more from them.
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Sergey and me have made our next travel plans-staying on tree top at Parambikulam Tiger reserve. Can't wait for it!
The best thing about this whole journey was my mom who was so open to having my firang friend along with us and she mingled more with him than me.
I am back, rejuvenated and all set to work and looking forward to my next trip!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-16522248413206593892012-03-21T10:47:00.000-07:002012-03-21T10:47:31.177-07:00Face to face with spectacled Indian cobraIt is a day in my life that I will remember forever. There are many a times I have seen snakes, either in the wild or somewhere while traveling. I have heard many stories as well from people like wildlife scientists, forest officers and commoners, and I have always wanted to know more about snakes. I knew snakes are shy and yes there are only 5% of poisonous snakes in the world. I read it in Romulus Whitaker's book common snakes. <br />
The last time I saw a snake was a year back when I was in Top slip, Indira gandhi wildlife sanctuary. An adult green vine snake beautifully camouflaged and sitting on a bush. It was there peering into my eyes and I stood there admiring its beauty. In the next five minutes, when my forest guard tried to catch it, it slipped away and all through my journey I just was thinking about the beautiful creature. <br />
Today as I was stepping down from home..just the last step and I came face to face with a spectacled indian cobra. I had no time to even react or think. It was hardly two feet away from me. I froze, not knowing what to do. I thought maybe it is just a juvenile. Without wasting any more time, I quietly paced back home. What happened, my mom asked, curiously..I said..ssnnnaakke..there was a snake..I just left it undisturbed, may have strayed somewhere and came here. I tell you the snake did not harm me, not even for a second, it put its hood up and said, look im gonna bite you. It was surprising I was unruffled too. It felt magical to see the snake and my love for it has grown more. I did not bother him, he did not bother me. We went our own ways. I did not call anyone, for I feared they might kill my little cobra. In the evening when I went out, it wasn't there. He must have found his way and gone long back. <br />
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I called my friend who is a scientist and asked him what I need to do. He gave me the number of a guy who was a snake rescuer. If the snake is around, call him, he said. Put salt to prohibit it from coming near, he said. I had to do nothing. He went away. <br />
I felt divine seeing it. truly divine and even now I can't believe it actually happened.<br />
I hate to see people killing innocent snakes. I want to learn to rescue the snakes and tell people here not to kill them when they see one, but to call rescuers and help these creatures survive. The earth belongs to them as much as it belongs to us. AmenSharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-31548192872038847632012-03-16T03:45:00.001-07:002012-03-16T03:51:07.102-07:00My last few weeksWhen I started this blog post, I was pissed, damn angry, upset, and what not..A myriad of emotions was overflowing. I was sitting in a cubicle with blasting AC a cup of hot south indian filter coffee which turned into a cold coffee and plenty of bisleri bottles. Yeah, I was on my corporate assignment and was working out of an office. One of the top companies in the globe. I signed an NDA, so shhhhh on the name of the company. :)<br />
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It was a great place to work, for sure! But I was kind of caught up with being in the "office". As a journalist, I always used to be out on assignments and never liked being confined in a cubicle, but work demanding I did it. It was painful lot of times, I did not see the sun, I didn't know what time of the day it was, I was cut off from the outside world. <br />
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My task was to finish a book of 30,000 words and I had seven days to finish it. Impossible indeed, that is precisely what I thought but when opportunity knocks your door, do you say no? Especially when you are on your own, there are very few times (either in case of pittance money or shoddy work) that you say a clear no! I was kind of thinking and asked my friend and confider Priya, if I would be able to do it. She instantly said take it. Sometimes, all it takes it a yes from someone who knows you well to do something confidently. It works very well with me. With no doubts, I committed and here I was..I used to travel 30kms everyday to go to work. There was an AC bus that picked people up. I was the only one without the dog tag..Eeks, I mean the company tag..I HATE it..Do you hear that..I HATE it..access cards, id cards..WTF! :P But I thought maybe some people really enjoy doing work like this..Passions are different for different people right?<br />
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Harita was a real savior in the company. She was an intern and from day 1 she was more interesting in knowing my travel stories. We used to sit in the break out room and have south indian coffee from the coffee dispenser..I was mentally calculating, how many chapters a day and how many hours of work. People in the office wondered why I never got up and went for a stroll, I was just so focused on finishing the task and there was no other go. <br />
Typing for more than 8 hours a day, my wrist started paining by the weekend. By then, it was too much but I was done with version 1. The best thing was the HR director of the company told me she did not have to look at my work because she already knew I was a good writer. These things really move you and also ensure you give your best for the kind of confidence they have in you. Though I had a few issues with a few people, things ironed out. I know when to put my foot down and say full stop and enough is enough. I realised over time unless you do it, people will trample you, yes they do. <br />
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End of the day, 2 weeks, project over! Yipee and I will have a fatter bank balance. Cool? I want to party now. No sooner, I reached back home, I was happy to see my newly painted house. My home looked amazing. Soon, another urgent deadline project landed up and I had to do it. So, was there a break? No! I finished it, sorted out editing issues in the book and when it was getting too much, I had to say I cant do more. I was mentally saturated, upset, stressed and what not. But I was looking forward to a day- the day when I was meeting my college friend after 8 years. The last I met her was when she got married and now she has two kids. I was so much looking forward to one day of no laptop no phone. Meeting her was fun and we laughed and relived our college life. Viju's daughter (5 yrs old) grew so fond of me..Dad, I want to be with mommy's friend. Mommy's friend, I wanted to hold your hand and you left me :( Aww...She was amazing, I just hugged her and I felt so close to her, much more than my niece. She had this cute american accent and she spent hours talking to me..How I love kids!! Viju's brother just got married and how much I loved ragging bhaiyya. He was so protective about us during college days. I spent a beautiful day with Viju and her family esp her daughter Rhea and her 7 month old son Vedant. <br />
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Another college friend of mine has come to Trivandrum. I plan to meet her too, after 12 years. It was quite a surprise to get a call from her. she took my number from Viju-seemed like a mini college reunion.<br />
"hello sweetheart" she said and I was surprised..Sush you? OMG!! Sushmita has a way of talking, sweet. Her hello sweetheart is enough to know its her! :)<br />
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It has been three working weekends, but no complaints. I am having fun. <br />
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Last weekend, Me, Shoms, Nikhil and mom went to see Kahani and it was a stupendous movie. We went out shopping, had some bit of outside food and fun. Now, I am relaxed, having my dose of Calvin and Hobbes, City of Djinns by Darymple, Tinkle and a few other books and not to forget my evenings of tennis. Where is stress..It all passes with time..Time to have fun!!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-79429138092035346792012-02-15T00:17:00.000-08:002012-02-15T09:41:50.391-08:00Memories of childhood after yearsIt was after a very long time that I called my childhood friend Krupa. I wasn't even sure if her number still existed. I called her, heard her voice and I was so thrilled. I could literally feel I was going back to my childhood days as I was talking to her. Are you plump still, I asked teasing her. I remember I used to call her batata (potato) in Mumbai hindi. Poor thing! I know I used to tease her so much! She was no less. Oye Madrasi, oye chashmish..I remember every little thing. Childhood days were so much fun! Krupa, me and Mithu were a trio. We were always together doing the most craziest things, playing and most importantly laughing. I was always out of the house with these girls, cycling or playing. It was a kind of freedom being with the two gals. <br />
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In those days, I did not have a cycle. My brother taught me how to ride a cycle when I was in class 3. Those days we lived in a small rural area where dad had his bank posting. I fell on thorns as I learnt to cycle but took it as a part of learning. Didn't cry. Later, when my brother got his cycle, I started riding it after fighting with him for many days. Initially, I remember me, mithu and krupa would go and hire a cycle-Rs 2 for an hour. I used to save up the coins from my bus trip to school. In the afternoon after school, I used to buy 50 paise ice and eat it. Every day! <br />
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Krupa was a tomboy and she reckons she is still one. Loved everything that boys did. We used to play cricket, fly kites and even beat boys in the kite flying game. I rather learnt kite flying from her.<br />
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In the building where we stayed, people used to mock us-always playing don't know if they study. Sometimes, we used to go to Krupa's house to have amazing delicacies made by her mom, sometimes to Mithu's house to watch tv. My neighbour aunty was such a pain, she used to yell at us while we were playing at the building compound because she could not see the passerbys. We used to get angry but continued playing ignoring her. Sometimes we used to leave cockroaches into her house and balcony. Lot of times, ring the door bell and run away. Small joys of life. I remember once, we three were playing Holi. We were at the roof top throwing water balloons. During the days of Holi, we used to play so much. My face would be smeared with so much color that my mother would not recognize me. Krupa's house had a huge swing. We used to spend some evenings having hot chai and talking nonsense. We used to roam so much in the cycle. There were so many times my brother yelled at me and even beat me up for not studying. I used to HATE studies and school. Even at nights I used to be out playing. My building people and my family used to wonder what I would do in life. I hated anything conventional, rather I never understood why school and studies were important in life. I absolutely never thought of future. Sometimes dad used to scold me a lot for not focusing on studies, but my innocent mind would never understand. I lived a life like there was no tomorrow. Of course, today, when I look back, none of those grades or marks..nothing ever mattered. Maybe I was really right! :) Lovely days, beautiful days. I was super thrilled to talk to my friend after ages and reliving all those memories. Mithu is married and now lives in Pune. Krupa is still the way she is-plump, cute and adorable and me, still the same free spirited girl that I was, but yeah quiet and composed. <br />
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Now, I am waiting to go and see my friend in Bombay and sit in the swing and have a chai..and maybe a matured conversation. :)Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-81911586173453082132011-12-01T06:47:00.000-08:002011-12-01T06:56:32.645-08:00Crazy november 2011It has been a long time I even wrote anything. I tried nanowrimo and was so optimistic I would finish 50000 words but could not. But I am glad I touched the 20,000 mark. I know I should not give reasons but yeah I was tired like crazy. But then there were these fun memorable days and the interesting new people I met..and a few of course who let me down...but yeah I am glad I am getting to see new faces of people..<br />
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It was the international ornithology conference on indian birds. Sacon was the place I spent half of my time after home. I would climb the tiny path, admiring the colorful flowers and the call of the birds. I met many eminent ornithologists..Rauf Ali, Suhel Qader, and many many people..I shared a wonderful rapport with the new people. After being active in couchsurfing I got this interesting mail from an ornithologist from Gujarat. I was happy to meet him. We all had a small couch surfers meet in Coimbatore. I met Dr. Christopher who worked on elephants in Kottayam. I spent long hours chatting with him. I was much appreciated for the work I do and I did really feel humble and great about myself. I was indeed bringing in new dimensions to journalism and research writing. I do feel proud. I met Arpit, the guy from Gujarat and told him where he can do birding around Coimbatore. I met Jigna who run her own boutique in Coimbatore. She said I can drop in whenever I want to and her home is always open..I said..I love you for saying that..She was damn friendly..I met Harish who did his fashion designing from Canada and launched his new label for adventure apparels. That was so cool! He was a wildlife photographer as well..Buddy, count me in for any travel..I love wilderness..I said in a jiffy..Sure he said..We all had a great time at coffee day and it was fun. I love the people in Coimbatore..they dont speak the galeej chennai tamil, they treat people with a lot of respect and are warm..<br />
<br />
The next day at conference, I spent lot of time with new people and old friends..it was great..the weather was cold and I loved to watch mountains and sip my tea sitting on my usual steps outside the canteen..<br />
<br />
I conversed with scientists, did some work for my story and then headed off home..My friend just then called me over for dinner. He was my very old friend, but I saw a new side to him. It was shocking, it was bad! But then I got to know the truth. I moved on. Sometimes you know about people after long time! I chose to have a few good friends and be happy. Rather there are a very few people I talk to and very few words. Reticence is my best friend. In between I have been reading Eat, Pray and Love and I quite love Liz for writing the book!<br />
<br />
I made a trip to Chennai with one of the top ten ornithologists in the world, Dr. Rhys. He was so quiet. Writing and reading. I chatted with my friend Sumant and laughed. We walked out of the AC coach and stood near the door and talked about life..watching the green fields and breathing fresh air. I was heading to my best friend's wedding. Little did I know that it would be the most hardworking week of my life..I spent hours and sleepless nights right from cleaning my friend's room (literally dustbin). <br />
<br />
I had to go do shopping with her and in between developed an eye allergy..Jeez..save me! I was fine later. I did no shopping for myself and I knew I was gonna wear my mom's saree for the wedding. I did just that. But my friend's dad picked up a dress for me. I kinda love wearing sarees..anyway, the madness was really madness..I had no time to breathe..literally..The last one week I lost a sense of time and place and my life and everything..Last night after the wedding reception was over, my eyes became as red as tomato and I think that was it..The wedding happened in a jiffy. Raced through in the last five minutes before the auspicious time was over..I was keeping my fingers crossed..<br />
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I loved my friend's in laws. FIL looked like a strict person but I kind of liked him. He has this certain sense of calmness which I admired. I loved the guy's family..I think I just need a family like that..calm, dignified people with absolutely no show offs..finally my friend's dream of marrying the guy she loved became true!<br />
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What happens to my friend next? Don't know...But I wish for her happiness..<br />
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Amen. Can't write more details on blog. But I learnt a lot about life and the brouhaha over weddings, the expensive outfits, relationships and how difficult it is to carry something called marriage. I think I love my tiny space..till and if I find someone naturally!!<br />
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I am damn tired right now! And you know why. Between, forgot to mention..I made a trip to Kotagiri and witnessed the beauty of mountains. It wasnt as cold as I expected it to be and then went to Ooty and brought in ornamental plants for home..and came via conoor..got chocolate tea! I went to an old St. Stephen's church..amazing! On the way to kotigiri, I almost escaped a bison..thanks to my friend who got off in the middle. I was so mad at him for that. What if the bison had really attacked me! :( Anyway, thanks God for making the bison run back to hills and saving me! phew..<br />
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Lot of things..but yeah I think I am becoming saner and wiser day by day like my friend Renju said..it was nice to see your face..it looked like..you were so calm and serene..Yes honey, I am close to nirvana I said..Renju is one girl for whom I can thank God a million times ..you gave me a priceless treasure..<br />
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In the wedding, my friend's cousin (a 15yr old girl) became so close to me..that she fed me sweets..fed me food..made me coffee..and kissed my cheeks..I love you akka..still ringing in my ears..and everytime she said I looked gorgeous than ever before, I smiled..she said I love you Sharada a hundred times..I dont think even a guy has told me I love you so many times..Sweet things of life...<br />
<br />
adios time and cant really blog too many of my experiences here ...:) cheers!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-72898223688477168122011-11-02T07:17:00.000-07:002011-11-02T07:17:43.327-07:00Time to live my bucket list?High time! No rant, but I am tired of living for others, in a sense, making others happy through a certain action of mine. I certainly can't convince every person in this world and justify, listen this is what I want to do and this is how I want to live my life. Being individualistic is great! Atleast I am not bothering others!<br />
<br />
Anyway, coming to the topic, there have been things that I wanted to do in life and I am going t list out things I have done, and some things I want to do and I hope and believe I would be able to do them.<br />
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What I have done:<br />
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Published a book. Well, that was a long time dream come true. But hey, I am not done. I have still two books that are knocking on my mind right now. <br />
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Traveled to Egypt. It was like a dream come true for that is one place in the world I wanted to go, that too by myself. Visiting the Pyramids was one more tick mark.<br />
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Being an environmental journalist-dream since 16 came true after lot of struggle and hard work. But it did happen.<br />
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Travel in a backpacking way- Done it in the last 5-7 years of living by myself- villages of tamilnadu, kerala, architectural monuments, forests, tsunami struck places, waterfall..the list can go on...<br />
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Bird watching-I was a duh when it came to bird watching. Used to watch my friends spot birds and identify while I looked like an idiot..Now, I don't, I learnt. Another tick mark..Yayy! <br />
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Did still water river rafting with mom! :)<br />
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Started Graphite Ink :)<br />
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Started teaching writing<br />
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Started giving public talks (big dream come true)<br />
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Gave many the confidence to speak and shed inhibitions (pat on my back)<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>What I want to do</b><br />
<br />
Travel global. Every year or once in two years, visit a country. Yep. I am glad I am starting this new year in Singapore/Malaysia. The journey begins.<br />
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Want to travel to Botswana, explore Africa, travel to Vatican city, Venice, Innusbruck in Austria, Fraser island, France, Antarctica and the list goes on. <br />
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100 countries before I die..I want to make that dream come true! <br />
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Bungee jumping, sky diving, scuba diving, and any freaking adventure sport.<br />
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Write travel books and books about people I met in life.<br />
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Want to go back to college, probably international. I have been planning this from 19, but yeah now I wanna make it happen. Study, work and travel. Life is simple!<br />
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Spend a year for one thing-one year of hindi writing, one year or two years of studying environmental law/education/science, one year of creative writing, one year of writing in hindi, one year of writing in tamil (one year being minimum), one year of short stories, one year of poetry ..and more ...<br />
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Want to apply for the semester at sea cruise..Its world travel in a ship for three months. I want a free ride. Actually! I am gonna find ways!<br />
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Traverse through the forests of world. <br />
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Throw away the mobile phone and men..Both are useless..<br />
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Right now, this is what is on the top of my head. I shall think more and write if something crops up!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-43897253539426143112011-10-31T09:38:00.001-07:002011-10-31T09:40:49.311-07:00Sweet surprisesLife is full of surprising things. Last Jan, I was in train traveling with a bunch of sardar uncles, who took care of me like their own daughter. They shared home made parathas with me, and when we landed in Ludhiana station, in the freezing winter, took me out to a local dhaba to feed me some more parathas. God bless them. One of the uncles, was so happy that I was a writer. In the train, he recited some shayaris to me..It was amazing. Uncleji, kya kavita hai..I said..Apna email id do beta, he said. I gave him. After I hugged them and bid them adios at Ludhiana station, not knowing when I would meet them, I was suprised to receive email of Sukhwinder uncle. He sent his poem to me...I read and replied. :) I was thrilled! Actually!<br />
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Today, I got yet another email from Sukhwinder uncle..Been so long..Beta, I am in Canada with my family..aap kaise ho..I am smiling now..ear to ear..what a surprise. He lost my number and he has promised to call me from Canada. I am sure he will call me..beshak! :) Oh how much I love these people of Punjab! And the sweet things of life..priceless moment!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-72228347840730750742011-10-31T06:52:00.000-07:002011-10-31T07:09:10.174-07:00Introspection after long..It has been a long time since I have introspected on my life, but when I look back, I feel there are lot of things I have learnt and maybe I have changed people's lives in lot of ways and that makes me feel so much better!<br />
<br />
It has been almost two years since I chucked my job as TamilNadu correspondent of Outlook Business. How crazy was I to chuck a job in national magazine? How many people get through it to chuck? But after spending two long years working for the magazine, traveling to the most rustic corners of India, seeing people suffering in abject poverty, lacking even basic medical facilities and then coming back and writing about it, putting it my emotions and thoughts and my writing skills..eventually I thought, yeah I write, but does it impact others? No! To a certain extent, yes! Some stories I wrote did make a lot of sense and put things in perspective. But I was tired, mentally, to answer endless phonecalls from PR people, from boss, my editing team, all of weekend, with no sense of time. I was oblivious of my life. I was so sunk in job that I seldom got time to introspect and then it hit me. And then there was a trigger to rediscover myself and wonder what to do..One, right at the time when I was tired of my job, I was going through a relationship crisis. Everything put together affected me massively and I had decided it was time to move on. <br />
<br />
After I convinced my boss, and told him I am not sure what I am going to do next, I breathed hard. For a few months I stayed in Chennai. I traveled and backpacked with my friend, and sometimes alone for about couple of months. It was in Athirampally waterfalls I met a gentleman who was editor of the Week magazine. He just called me to click his picture and casually asked me. I told him I quit my job and was thinking of pursuing environmental journalism full fledged..hey sharada, that's awesome, I am starting a a magazine on the same, why don't you write for me and be a south correspondent. Life I thought! Sure, and I pulled out my card and gave him..I took his card as well. How God shows light and makes you meet people in the most unexpected circumstances of life...<br />
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I traveled a lot and cleared my head. My phone remained on silent for long. The PR calls stopped and I was happy without my phone. I truly was enjoying this phase. I got internship at the university of waterloo's environment department, but sadly did not get my visa..but the editor was like..whenever you come to Canada, you can work with me..That was so sweet of her!<br />
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It was then I decided to move from Chennai, from the usual city life, socialising, partying..just leave everything and push off to Coimbatore..where my dad lived his best..and happiest..I had anyway quit my job. <br />
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I packed up my bags, told my house owner, bade adieu to my neighbor aunty who shed buckets of tears when I left..who will motivate me, she asked..You have to just call me and I will come here. Coimbatore is not far. Hugged her and left. emotions..yup!<br />
<br />
After I moved here, I found peace of mind, and developed an interest for birds, started taking care of my house, backyard, planted trees and life was just so good. I did not attempt to make friends. I just needed long days of solitude..My life wasn't planned. No! That was the best part. I never planned my life, but yeah moved along when things work. I create ideas and work out and that is how I live my life. No plans, but maybe I also learnt to be organised. <br />
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I spent a year writing bird book, I learnt bird watching, read books on ornithology, discovered nature..End of it, I published a book last year, much appreciated by people! It wasn't planned. I met Priya who edited the book only once and after we worked on the book for a year, we became such good friends that we decided to capitalise on our strengths to start something on our own. That worked too. We clinched a big project and finished it. That was unplanned too! <br />
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I became a cat lover..And I realised that love when genuinely given to an animal is reciprocated in the right way..even animals understand true and fake love..:) I am an unabashed lover of cats..I just love when they cuddle upto me and I feel their soft furs..<br />
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I published a book, published a story in an anthology, discovered that I am a good creative writer. Two of my short stories were long listed for urban shots' national best seller. Boosted me further. Then I signed a contract with TerraGreen and got into hardcore environmental journalism-exactly what I wanted..I have nothing to complain. I did go through relationship crisis, but I got over it..I am happy to know that the very same people thank me for having changed their lives even today..That makes me feel that every individual you meet, there is a reason, God chooses you to change them, or chooses them to change you..and I have learnt from every single person..No regrets! <br />
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Unplanned life is indeed great but I am done with my share of broken relations. I see only me now and want to live to make myself happy and in the process if I can benefit someone along the way, I will do it. <br />
<br />
I traveled, I met many people, I learnt many lessons and now I do not know where I am heading next. Life is still unplanned! Very much, and I hope it keeps throwing me sweet surprises!! Always..Amen..and thanks to all the people in my life who have made me what I am today- mom, pri, k, anurag, krupa, divya, aarti..you mean a lot to me!! Life, thank you!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-14733850412827882252011-10-18T10:13:00.000-07:002011-10-18T10:14:00.492-07:00Rant for the 999th timeI wanted to put it as men rant, just deleted those three letters so that people don't think I am a man hater or a feminist and honestly speaking I am NOT! I rather love being in the company of men, for I always felt they are easy going on life, than women who bitch and bite each other about everything..coming to the topic..I seriously wondered today, why men are men..I remembered what my brother told me -we are practical and we only think problems and solutions, we don't really look at emotional side of decision making. I have seen that in lot many men, and it does hurt me at times, but then what do I do, sit quiet and let them think and form perceptions about my state of mind or express how I feel about what they feel about me...Darn! There is no end to thinking..and for the first time, my usual casual remarks were taken seriously by someone..and it pains to see that..I mean dude, that is how I am with anyone I talk..Saying get lost does not mean =please get lost. It is my state of mind. For once, why can't people take things in a not so literal sense than jumping to conclusions, thinking and acting emotionally. Drat! I am mentally tired and sick of explaining that I joke!! And this is how I joke, its nothing to do with fooling with someone's emotions or giving someone sleepless nights and sitting and apologising the entire day...I need a life..I have my mood swings..I am a woman, I am a Gemini, and I am a writer! So, I can be double, triple, emotional and have greater mood swing than a normal person..But yeah that's me!! What do I do if someone feels that my turmoiled state of mind affects him or her? Move away, try and explain or do what! I don't understand. A time when I feel it is time to move on and speak to my women friends who undergo the same thing and share their lives with me..similar rants or different, but its unburdening of the self..It helps me calm down, get a grip and move on..<br />
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Sometimes I go to an extent of thinking- until you are married, people have a problem you are single, when married, deal with a husband, and then a kid and then the in laws..so end to individualism and your private space? Why? I mean why? Why can't people just stop admonishing me for not what I am..and stop being judgemental about every word I utter..Dammit it hurts!<br />
<br />
I was telling my mom..why get married, oh no! It is a pain, rather go and seek some solitude, lead a minimalist life, meditate in the hills, do good to others, globetrot, and die writing a book. Why make life so complicated!!<br />
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Pri, if you are listening, thanks for hearing me out babe! Love you!Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-47570460259934458822011-08-22T05:22:00.001-07:002011-08-22T07:24:59.971-07:00Self-awareness, joy, contentment and learningsIt has been almost a week since I landed in Hyderabad. I did not have plans to come this month, but I think it was a strong 'call" that made me come here. When I was invited by the Director of Vivekananda Institute for Human Excellence, one I could find it hard to believe, a man of such a high stature choosing a young girl like me to share stage with him and give sessions. Yes, why not, he said. You have traveled so much, met many people and you are a journalist. I sure jumped at it and I am thankful to 'life' for many things. Sometimes, things just happen, with no plans or agenda or blueprint..thats how I love and cherish it..<br />
<br />
The day I reached here, I was dead tired, but no sooner I reached, I had to recharge myself to give a talk in one college. I went and met the Director. I have given talks, judged events, but this is a huge class and I haven't done one bit of preparation. How am I going to manage it? It is going to be a huge challenge. Go share your experience, don't be nervous, he said.<br />
<br />
When I stepped into the college and met the principal, I was quite humbled the way I was treated.I walked into a classroom full of students. I was a little nervous. But then, I started off, quite naturally, breaking the ice and being friendly with the students. Session one on communications skills-not bad. Second session was better, even better. I was able to just pull the students like a magnet. I remember what my college buddy and best friend Prince used to tell about me -you are a crowd puller babe..I used to laugh, but now I know I am..The students were going gaga...and said a big thanks..What did I do...I reflected upon some thoughts..What did I really do and how did all this happen? I just realised many things about myself-I had a strong power ..the power of motivating others, the capability of controlling a huge audience, the confidence to speak up and express my thoughts and ideas, to pass on the energy and knowledge I had..to make them let go of fear..and make them confident human beings...This was self-discovery for me. <br />
<br />
I gave more than 7-8 talks, and every talk, I learnt something about myself, the immense power I had..I also did not give up. On the first day, I remember a girl sitting on the bench, shivering, her head down.. I went up to her and said, today, you are going to talk. No way, she said in a low tone. Let me see how you don't do it..For almost ten minutes, i stood next to her, coaxed her, to stop assuming what other would think when she spoke, how others would mock her, react to her..or what if she make mistakes..those things should all be ignored..in ten minutes, she stood up..i was also persistent..she spoke..and she spoke on for five minutes..end of it..there were claps..she felt a great sense of accomplishment- led me to a point..we all have self confidence, but we are not confident of the self confidence within us..before teaching them communication skills, I had to work on making their fears disappear, make them believe in their own capabilities...and that did the trick..the girl sent me an email to me..thank you for making me over come my stage fear..this was achievement for me..I created a change..in someone's life..and its a priceless feeling..Every session, I went for, the students stood up.,.and spoke..and it was my task to make them do so..the girls would just not cooperate..I also realised giving a sermon never helps..before they learn anything, they should be equipped to know themselves, train their mind and then absorb..I just did that..<br />
<br />
The next day, a girl came crying to me because she could not talk in English..but she was actually talking to me in English..You are fine I said as I wiped her tears...You are good, where is the mistake..We are all good, we just dont know how good we are..Never stoop down, you are special..everyone is special...<br />
<br />
The past few days there have been great experiences..There were arguments, discussions, questions were thrown and I answered it all..I also learnt from them, I learnt their problems and worked on them to give a common solution..my own solutions...from my experiences or learning from life..It was simple as I shared with my students, how it is important to be open and honest in anything you do..Some did say it was not possible in practical world. but why lie I asked..you can only when it is life and death situation, not otherwise, it is better to be truthful..and truth is the only thing which actually purifies your soul..I know many people would not agree to me on lying to pass off temp situations...but I definitely do not appreciate it...It puts me off..I know why I can't stand liars now..I am learning about myself...<br />
<br />
Today, was an extraordinary day. I went to a college...the girls there came from a totally rural background..I had a very very tough time in breaking the ice. For almost half an hour, no one was cooperating with me..I got angry, but I did not show it. I rather said, I will not leave the place unless you are with me..the next one hour, things changed, I fought with myself..in a hard way...to make them communication..to break their fears...to make them confident and I did it all..<br />
<br />
The students were overjoyed. That was it. Today though I thought I almost failed, self motivation helped me..it did..After I left the class, some students went and thanked the principal for bringing me and they said they want to hear more of me..I noticed sparkling smiles, energized faces, confidence...I was happy..The principal called me and gave me a gift..I could not accept, but she justified it...what we could not do, you did..When are you coming next? I was lauded by the department people for my incredible patience (got it from my mother and grandmother).<br />
<br />
Anytime, I said. They are arranging workshops for me in Hyderabad and all the colleges I went to wants me now..My students are happy, they are confident, they will go places, I know they will..<br />
<br />
For me personally, it was 'mastery on self-discovery'..Last, I told the students..Why fear, we all have one life to live, lets be happy and throw everything that makes one weak..Fear is the greatest sin..as Swami Vivekananda puts it..<br />
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It is probably one of the most satisfying days of my life..I know I am good at motivating people..:) <br />
Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-47548476120895856872011-08-20T10:15:00.000-07:002011-08-20T10:23:21.731-07:00Hyderabad story..Part 1..I was standing on the corridor in my crisp white pale blue and white salwar..with the chiffon white dupatta sprinkled in gold..swaying to the wind, and drops of rain trickling on me..I turned around...saw a dashing guy in a yellow t shirt and denims, in a confident walk, a smiled adorned his face...I looked at him and turned away...I soon got to work, I was judging the Youth awards this year in Hyderabad and the director, was so much in awe and respect for me..that he chose to take me in the esteemed panel of judges...<br />
<br />
I was sifting through a book and putting forth my questions to grill the students when I was called..Yes, sir, I told the director and walked up to him. As my eyes shifted, the guy in the yellow tshirt was standing right next to him!! For a moment, I became silent. Meet C, he said, he is a HR head in one of the leading companies (I do not wish to name the company). I gently shifted by books and papers to my left hand and shook hands with him..Meet sharada, journalist and an excellent writer, I was smiling..so, you and C will sit and prepare the questions to grill the kids, he said..He left us then. C and I walked together..Shall we sit here, I asked..sure, so what do you think how do we go about it. I pulled out some chits and placed in front of him, and asked his opinion..Are these okay? He went through them one by one, and said, hey great questions..Lets think more..<br />
<br />
For an hour, we exchanged thoughts and ideas...Hey, do you think we should put a question on how society impacts the decisions of students...he asked me..I hmmm'ed...I think its good..For example, and then he went on to voice his views..I don't think I want to get married, because the society wants it..I jumped..exactly..even I think the same..why should I get married..<br />
<br />
In between these discussions, I noticed his hand, no ring...hmm..single..I thought..Soon, his phone rang..excuse me, i need to take this call, he said..Sure, i said..Hey S (it was a girl on the other end), what happened to you, are you ok ..Maybe gf I thought..then the conversation drifted to recruitment..Bah! He hung up and said, You know these official calls...Lets get back to work I said..In the midst..he was punching sms after sms, taking calls..It was okay though...<br />
<br />
This was great, a GUY thought like me..I just realised..!! As we further explored the questions..he shot, "hey you are a journalist, because you wanted to be one, isnt it?" Yes, I said..But your family sure would have wanted you to be an engineer..I looked at him and smiled..Yes, my brother dreamed of me getting into IIT which was far from what I even imagined..But I chose this and I am happy..See, this is what I want the students to do, do what they want..and he smiled as he emphasised..<br />
<br />
What an amazing guy!<br />
<br />
After breaking our heads, we took a break and then I asked him..so, you grew up here?<br />
Yeah, he said, hardcore Hyderabadi...We spent the next three hours judging the event..by the time it was 4.30. In the midst of the judging session, he was on phone, smsing all the time. I so badly wanted to snatch his bbb (bloody blackberry) and tell him..concentrate on the talk..Darn! I felt helpless. I kind of didnt like the fact that he was using his phone when something serious was happening, but his smart talk and questions made up for all that..<br />
<br />
It was very late, I thrust my total score sheet in his hand and said..I need to run now, my friend has been waiting for long..I was so thrilled by the idea of going to Laad Bazaar to buy bangles, watch charminar, have some nice irani chai and sip it slowly watching the rains...I forgot to even take his email id..<br />
<br />
It just happens, you meet some interesting people and there you go..especially when you are single...hey he seems my type..:P<br />
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But now, it feels like heck, it was just another bumping into someone..and hey I did have a great time at Laad bazaar...sitting right inside charminar, feeling the towering monument, watching the lanes of colorful bangles with generous amounts of gold and silver, rich broacdes of silk and silver...chandelier ear rings, mehndi, colorful footwear..I could keep staring at my lovely feet..all this was worth it..and about the guy...well, he was just another passerby. Things change and you grow up!! :) ha ha!! Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-72925403881016689582011-08-05T01:51:00.000-07:002011-08-05T01:51:32.367-07:00Cochin talesIt was when I was a kid that I visited Cochin. I have vague memories of seeing the Jewish Synagogue and going in a boat, but do not remember much. I wanted to go and spend time with my friend Ranjini, wanted to take a break from work and also spent some time traveling. I realised I did not want to the rough travel that I usually do. I think I was mentally, physically drained to the core. I went to stay at my friend's granma's house. They called her 'Ammana'. I got her sweets..My mother always says that when you go to a house for the first time, especially when there are elders, you should get something. Ammana was happy, when I touched her feet and offered her sweets. I do not know Malayalam, but yeah I can speak and somewhat manage..I could understand what she said...Thanks to the Palakkad Tamil. She said, she understood english, but she also told me she would teach me Malayalam and as always I was game to learn a new language..<br />
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The rice is Kerala is unlike the rice we eat here, huge ones..but after traveling to so many places, I was flexible to eat whatever was offered to me..another thing which travel taught me is to be grateful for having what you have..Ammana cooked authentic Kerala style dishes, like how my amma makes it..and for everything they used coconut oil..She made variety of food and papadam everyday. I just hugged her and told her that she is awesome. Ammana lived alone, but she is a strong willed lady, enthusiastic, cheerful, a great sense of humor and cheeks that you can keep pulling..:) I loved teasing her. I literally asked her to make new things for me..and she made it..and she also appreciated that I ate every single thing that she made, including karelas..I never eat bitter gourd, but for her, I ate. She had taken so much pains to make it. <br />
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She used to get me stuff from outside, vadas..and I loved it..At night, she recited Ramayana, and I used to sit and listen to her and then pray and go to bed. She gave me whole loads of tea, and I loved it. Sitting on the steps outside the house, watching butterflies, reading book, playing with the cat and sipping chai. The cat also became very friendly with me and everytime I came back home, she would call me out..waiting to be pampered..<br />
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I also got to attend a two day conference for environmental education at Mangalavanam bird sanctuary where I met Anup's mom and dad. After the conference, I went to their house. Aunty made ada..and I always loved it..I had loads of them, shamelessly..aunty and uncle became very friendly with me and I had loads of coffee..with coriander and jeera..I never sampled a masala coffee before, but I loved the taste of it..Anup's house was an eco friendly house and aunty and uncle had a huge garden full of medicinal plants..The next day, we went again for lunch at aunty's place and ended up talking about old scriptures and all that..Suddenly, I heard a tuk tuk sound, and when I looked out, it was a woodpecker..I watched it for a long time before it flew away..I loved Anup's home..I told aunty and uncle I would come and stay with them and sit and write there..they were only happy..they were living by themselves..I hugged aunty before I left..<br />
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I met many people in this journey, an auto wallah who was at a roadside tea shop at Fort Kochi..His name ended with Cochin..So, isnt it a created name, I asked..Yes, and he laughed..He said he belonged to Bombay and we started chatting up. Right from the ticket sellers, to people on the streets, everyone was helpful to me and I am really thankful to God for making me meet such wonderful people.<br />
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Ammana and valli chechi (next door neighbor) showered so much love and affection that I belonged to that part of family..I was humbled..The day I left, Ammana told me that I should live with her and go to Coimbatore once in a while, I smiled at her and promised to come often.. a promise is a promise..I am gonna take amma and go there again very soon..<br />
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I called ammana yesterday and she said, how do you do? English,,hmmm..I am good and how are you I asked..she started laughing..I managed to pull a broken malayalam conversation for 5 mins (big deal for me) and end of it she said..if you cant communicate something in malayalam, say in english..I am glad I could figure that out..I was happy..New families come into my life like this..I love my life!! :)Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-55736251963616319752011-07-22T10:04:00.000-07:002011-07-22T10:09:56.553-07:00Another night at SACON campus :)My visits to the Salim Ali Centre for Ornithology and Natural history (sacon) has become very frequent in the last few years..I love being in the campus..right from the gate, entering into the main campus, the one km stretch is filled with birds, surrounded by mountains and mist..I walked across watching different birds..<br />
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Anyway, I went to the campus again to meet Dr. Pramod, who heads the nature education and outreach division. I work with him. He called me to the seminar room. I am giving a talk, he said. I went and sat with some college students, hearing his talk. His talk is so full for admiration for nature and completely gripping. I sat there listening to him, and then he put on a few slides and was telling the students about each bird. I could rattle off the name of the bird, slide after slide, and I was getting excited like a little kid, that I could identify most of these birds. I was happy for myself. Soon after the lecture, I met two girls who were working with Dr. Pramod. I went about chatting with them and I spoke to Dr. Pramod. Sir, you know, I was able to identify most of the birds. Of course, you had to, you are an author of bird book...but still..something about nature always excites..I get excited hearing about birds..<br />
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Soon, we went to the canteen to have lunch and got into a conversation. As we came back from the lunch, I met Shoms, after a month, she had just returned from UK. She is the only expert of small cats in India, and a great friend of mine. I went up and hugged her. She was there along with another prof from Scotland and they were standing there searching for a chameleon. I stood and wondered if we could see it. Soon, he spotted a beautifully camouflaged chameleon in green, sitting on the top of the tree. I pulled up the binocs and saw its splendid color. I was lost in admiration of the pretty creature. The way it walked, and suddenly pulled its tongue out to pull it prey was interesting to watch. We watched it for many minutes ...then I went for a discussion with Dr. Pramod. Shoms, said, hey we are staying back in the campus, why don't you stay with us? Sure, I jumped! I loved the campus, sitting on the steps outside canteen with my hot cuppa, watching the valleys and feeling the cold wind.<br />
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Later I met Dr. Balasubramanian who worked on hornbills and told him about what I do. We spent one long hour talking about various things, especially tree bird relationship. He said something about me..in one hour, sharada, I feel you are a very balanced person and your thinking is comprehensive. I thanked him for making my day! <br />
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I went to Shoms's room and we started chatting, soon Aarti joined (she worked on fishes). My friend Nikhil came along..he worked on biodiversity change in Bharatapuzha river area in the last 50 years..We all had a great time..soon Ramesh and Ramesh joined..one worked on Indian pythons and one worked on a project in Nagaland. Then there was my friend Sheeba, who worked on spot billed pelicans. There were three girls from Delhi who were doing there masters in biodiversity conservation who joined us as well. We all went and trekked a few places from behind the Sacon campus..we had hot tea and bajjis after the little tough trek..at night, we got eggs and other things to make dinner..We walked back on the main road to the campus..it was pitch dark, we could not see a thing, but we kept talking and walking in the mountain path..it was a beautiful night..soon, we went to the campus kitchen and started cooking...we wanted to make lemonade and realised we did not have lemons..hey wait, said Nikhil, we will go and pluck garden fresh lemons...great idea, I said..soon he came with half a dozen lemons..We were creating ruckus in the kitchen and after dinner, we went to the terrace..and wanted to sit down and sing and have fun..it started drizzling..so we went to another place..which actually looked like an auditorium..sat there and sang until 12..we had so much fun and we were all in the same interest group- all of us were nature lovers and were working on those issues..At 12.30, went off to sleep finally, after spending an awesome evening..we would have walked some 8 kms yesterday..at it was great to just crash on the bed..I woke up late in the morning and looked at the mountains and breathed deeply..It was time to get back home..I took my long walk on the winding road, watching robins and babblers flying all over..a beautiful day and a great break after long...Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4211997297249522788.post-35341581905482232892011-07-18T22:29:00.000-07:002011-07-18T22:29:43.374-07:00obsessive men? grrr!!!A few days back I was clearing off "interests" expressed in me on tamil matrimony. As I was sifting through the profiles, I came across one profile and I gently clicked the view profile tab to find who the gentleman was..From what he had described about himself, he seemed to be a person who liked to live and let live-simple straight philosophy and I strongly believed in it. I think like my friend Pri says when I talk about space, its the need for giving time for one's self..people don't get it! So, she says you find someone who needs space..and then he will understand what you mean by having your personal space in the relationship..<br />
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Without further digression, I looked at the profile, and he had written a lot about himself, he loved writing, etc etc..So, I emailed him, saying I liked his profile..And left a text message as well. He sent me a message at like 2 am asking me if I wanted to talk..what on earth was that..No sooner, he sent one very long email full of what he is all about. I wasn't that enthusiastic, manybe it has curbed in the years ..but at times yeah, I do talk a lot to people I connect naturally to. So, I thanked him for the long email and said let me think about it. <br />
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The next day, a message pops in. It was him. Are you seriously considering me? I was like..pooff..why is this guy after my life..I just emailed him yesterday...I did not reply to the message and the whole of Monday I was out and busy. In the evening another text popped in. I didn't want it to be him. I was already tired of his obsessiveness. Are you seriously considering it? I said, I am open to it, so let's see where it goes. Even then I was willing to give it a chance. The reply came" you don't seem to be making effort to answer my call or make calls to me." That was it. I got ticked off big time and then sent him a message, it is easy to jump to conclusions without knowing about someone and FYI, I have meetings and work and I can't keep answering calls all the time. Also, I wasn't well from one week, with a bad throat. I mean, i hit myself, why was I explaining myself to someone like this? This guy was born to a doctor parents, was an engg, MBA working in a good company, young and good looking, but no sense...its only nonsense..<br />
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In toto, I conclude that please do not believe ALL the men who write glorified things about themselves in their matri profile..for you all you know, not everyone can be as honest as you..and sometimes..in all probability, some people might write exactly the opposite of how and who they are..like in this case...in the morning, I got another message, how are you and I blindly deleted it..I am now going to delete his number..I don't know how people can get so obsessed with someone..obsession out of love would still be acceptably but not like 'whiny' guys like my friend Pri says..<br />
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Pri, thanks for being my listener of men-rants. :)Sharadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12926560131880022398noreply@blogger.com3